Nessun Dorma

For Hilal Erkan

2010-10-12T23:30:00.001+05:30

From Lace to Arsenic

2010-03-14T11:13:00.002+05:30

This article first appeared on the Times of India, Crest edition, in Mumbai, New Delhi, Bangalore, Chennai and affiliate editions.

Heavy metal, the impregnable domain of hyper-masculinity, is being infiltrated by iron maidens

by Nigel Britto

It was an icy evening in Worcester, Massachusetts in January this year. The temperature outside hovered around zero. But inside the Palladium theatre, Arch Enemy was rapidly raising the heat with a vicious display of death metal: shrill guitar riffs, a skinhead drummer pounding his double-bass pedals at the speed of light, a hyperactive vocalist snarling incomprehensibly into the mike. The only thing missing was an unkempt beard on the leather-lunged singer’s face. But that was okay too, since the growler was the tall, blonde Valkyrie Angela Gossow.

The women in the mosh pit looked fawningly up at the reigning queen of metal who had taken a largely obscure Swedish band and transformed it into one of the most revered death metal acts on the planet. Gossow’s word was law inside the Palladium. At her gruff command, the crowd would scream, fall silent, sing along, crowd-surf, anything. At least one amateur wrestler learned his lesson: Do not mess with women at a metal show. You’ll probably get hurt.

Almost half a century after Black Sabbath invented this most dreaded and cussed genre of music, metal remains a largely male bastion. But even its most testosterone-friendly practitioner will concede that it now has a uniquely feminine side. “Metal’s no longer the male-dominated genre it once was,” Gossow told TOI Crest. Her vocals may be extremely guttural, a technique usually reserved for and mastered by men, but there are other women who are willing to flaunt their femininity even while fronting a metal band. Tarja Turunen, for instance. As the singer for Nightwish, the Finnish soprano merged the band’s power metal with her own operatic style and out came a whole new sound: Symphonic metal. Her influence as a classy metalhead became so inescapable that the Finnish president labelled her the ‘Voice of Finland’. Turunen left Nightwish in 2005 and was replaced by mezzo-soprano Anette Olzon.

In the formative years of heavy metal, the role of women was limited to providing ‘relaxation and rejuvenation’. The loyalist female ‘groupie’ who followed the band around on its tours and fooled around with various members backstage — Kate Hudson’s winsome if drug-befuddled turn in Almost Famous — became a fixture with early metal bands. I’m With the Band: Confessions of a Groupie is a scandalous first-hand account by Pamela de Barres, who spent her best years tailing the rock ‘n’ roll bands she adored. “I would go on tour with them, on planes, in the back of limos, to parties. I would be on stage with Led Zeppelin, the Stones, The Who and The Doors. It was a magic time,” she writes in her book. She details her sexual exploits with some of history’s greatest rock stars. Though de Barres says the debauchery started with Zeppelin, it was the early glam bands like Motley Crue which hit the world’s headlines for their travelling ‘harem’. The lace-clad band’s most popular and enduring hit, Girls, Girls, Girls was about the band’s hard sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle and their penchant for living up their nights at Los Angeles’s many strip clubs.

The journey from bed to stage wasn’t easy. Sam Dunn’s landmark film, Metal: A Headbanger’s Journey documents this change. In the ’80s, a woman going on stage to perform was unheard of, what with high-energy bands like Slayer, Metallica, Megadeth and Anthrax around. Male metal musicians had two ‘genders’: Men who dressed like men (leather jackets, skin-hugging trousers), and men who dressed like women (the frills of Motley Crue, Cinderella and Twisted Sister). The ‘third’ gender came about when the all-women British heavy metal band Girlschool blasted onto the scene. They didn’t have it easy. Guitarist Jackie Chambers got used to being asked if she was “tuning the guitar for the guitarist”. Then came the artillery invasion, fronted by the leatherclad Doro Pesch of the German band Warlock, a woman so formidably charismatic that she later successfully renamed Warlock after herself, and is now the lead singer of ‘Doro’.

The world over, symphonic and gothic metal have been the areas where women have shone. It accommodates polished and cultured genres at which women are more than competent: Classical and opera. The Nightwish of the Turunen era popularised it, but subsequent bands fronted by women, like Lacuna Coil (Cristina Scabbia), Within Temptation (Sharon del Adel), After Forever (Floor Jansen) and Epica (Simone Simons) have faithfully carried the flag into battle. But Gossow cautions against a band playing the ‘woman metalhead’ card. “You can be sexy and all that, but at the end of the day, it’s all about how good a musician you are,” she says.

In Bollywood-dominated India, metal is still a niche passion, but the Internet has helped nurture a thriving underground scene. Considering Indian metal is a good 20 years behind the West, the presence of women in metal bands is, not surprisingly, low. Not too many Indian parents would be pleased at the thought of their daughters thrashing about on stage before a thousand men. But metal is an astonishingly accurate chronicler of middleclass mores, and as society becomes more liberal, more women are pulling on the leather. Yasmin Claire from the Bangalore-based thrash metal band Myndsnare is probably India’s most famous female metalhead. Off stage, she rides a Bullet. On stage, she wears shorts, and so impresses with her footwork that her peers are quick to concede that she can “kick any male drummer’s ass”.

Where the presence of women is more strongly felt is rock, the first step to metal. Shillong leads the pack. All four members of hard rock band Afflatus are women, three of whom are part-time teachers at local colleges. In Mumbai, 16-year-old college student Pratika Prabhune plays bass guitar and growls convincingly in a fast-rising experimental death metal band called Chronic Phobia. Like every other woman who plays metal, she names Angela Gossow among her main influences. Today, she doesn’t face the patronising comments her predecessors did. “I have had no acceptance issues at all, everyone is cooperative and supportive,” she says. And don’t her parents gag at her growling? “Nope, my mom’s my biggest fan,” she clarifies.

Other women are not as lucky. Sahil Makhija, who runs Demonstealer Records and is a tireless promoter of extreme metal in India, says there have been women in Indian bands off and on, but these bands quickly fizzle out. He attributes this to a still widely prevalent system of “shaadi time”, which ticks in as soon as a woman reaches her mid-20s. But, adds Makhija, things are looking up. “In Mumbai, the number of girls at metal shows has been gradually increasing,” he says. “That’s the starting point. It’s only a matter of time before they make the transition from crowd to stage.” Gossow agrees. “Times are changing, and it’s no longer mindblowing to see a woman doing extreme stuff,” she says, adding “in a few years you'll see a lot more up there.”

Future maestros flex classical muscles

2010-02-26T10:14:00.003+05:30

by Nigel Britto

(The Times of India, February 26, 2010)

Panaji: The divine but jejune and partially-extended strains of the classic Dona Nobis Pacem served only as starters. Perhaps, its beginning and end were too far apart. As Europe celebrates the life of the legendary Frederic Chopin this week, Goa had a celebration of a different sort as the state's future classical maestros strutted their stuff at a dazzling display of talent at Kala Academy on Tuesday.

The director was vocal instructor Juliana D'Sa, whose mission is to popularize classical music in Goa. In doing so, she dug into the formidable pool of young talent she has shaped over the years and concocted this presentation, which she compared to trying to make up a small bouquet of flowers from a large garden. As a result, the menu was anything but predictable.

The variety on display was evident from the range of songs presented, from Handel's "He shall feed his flock" to "Adele's Laughing Song" from Strauss's "Die Fledermaus" (brilliantly rendered by Chriselle Mendonca) to the classic "Somewhere over the rainbow". Clearly, a lot of work went into song selection. "I chose each song carefully, based on the performers and what they were comfortable with," D'Sa later said, adding that the biggest difficulty was deciding what to leave out. The second-biggest difficulty was fighting the nasty little sore throat virus that made a bee-line for her singers.

The free-for-all show was fully funded by the students' parents. Thankfully, it didn't have a 'chief guest', and as a natural consequence, started on time to the delight of the packed auditorium. It then ran like a well-lubricated machine till finish, a spectacular feat considering a vast majority of the performers were school and college-going students without any significant stage experience prior to the show. The accompaniment was provided by a string quartet, comprising Kala Academy's director of western music Teresa Figueiredo and other senior violinists, and later, two pianists.

While the first half boasted a delectable selection of songs, the intensity of the music and the preparation behind it reached its crescendo in the second half, an enactment of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart's Le Nozze di Figaro (the Marriage of Figaro), which provided the performance its crowing glory. Admittedly, it's a mere shadow to a Broadway presentation, but given the extremely limited human resources here, the play turned out fantastic. The story is that of a countess, her maid Susanna, and the count's man-servant Figaro, who was to marry Susanna, conspiring to get Count Almaviva to forget Susanna and return to loving his countess.

The setting is a garden in the palace of Count Almaviva, with an extravagant Goa-wedding-style backdrop and relevant costumes. The opera's direction is sedulous and its production suave, what with its intrepid eavesdropping, prevarication and Machiavellian scheming among the lead trio; the ballsy and kittenish Susanna (Kim Costa), Figaro (Chernoll Mendonca) and the Countess.

A girl playing a teenage pageboy is a strange twist, but Karla de Sousa pulls of the role of the overly-amorous Cherubino admirably, ably shifting from the jubilant to the cothurnal; and the dramatis personae's masterful delivery and presentation easily obnubilates the play's unusual casting, ostensibly attributable to limited resources. The presentation was enhanced by the string quartet antipodal to the main act, and succeeded in two aspects; the Count regaining his affection for his Countess, and injecting a large dose of steroids into Goa's dormant opera production scene.

D'Sa was elated at the response. "I didn't expect it," she said. And she was even more pleased that her two major requirements of the concert were fulfilled-the popularization of classical music and her students having fun. "I just told them, above everything else, enjoy the music", she said, and that's what the enthusiastic bunch did, because as it ended, she was confronted by her students bitterly complaining that "our show was getting over".

As the curtains dropped and the auditorium lit up again, the question in most minds was "What next". The reticent D'Sa doesn't like to divulge much; but speaking to TOI the following day, she dropped sufficient hints that Tuesday's show was just the beginning, and not merely a flash in the pan.

On a song and a prayer

2010-02-05T10:38:00.000+05:30

Nigel Britto

(The Times of India, Crest edition, February 5, 2010)

It's that time of the year again when people make their way to a forgotten chapel on a hill for an annual pilgrimage they eagerly look forward to, arriving at one of Goa's most spectacular locations, Our Lady of Monte Chapel in Old Goa (Monte meaning hill in Portuguese).

Built by Portuguese conqueror Afonso de Albuquerque in the 1500s, the chapel is set against a breathtaking view of the Chorao and Divar islands on the Mandovi river. This picturesque place provides the perfect ambience for a three-day series of concerts that begin at dusk. Artists from all over the country come together to celebrate heritage and music in this quaint and rather off-the-touristy-circuit destination. The event marks the forgotten love affair between India and Portugal. Colonial romances are reminisced and shared histories relived.

From Portuguese choirs to Kuchipudi dancers to Indian sopranos, the festival, since its inception in 2002, has had all kinds of performances for the discerning spectator. Artists dressed in formal attires offer a glimpse to the audience about their history and culture.

The Monte Music Festival 2010 kicks off this weekend and is scheduled to run till Sunday. It wouldn't be a bad idea to be there.

Yvonne Rebello, who has coordinated the festival for the past eight years as part of Fundacao Oriente, a Portuguese organisation aimed at promoting cultural and artistic ties between Portugal and Asia, says, "It all started when the government approached us to renovate the chapel in 1999, which was then in a dilapidated condition." Since then, Rebello adds, the event has grown and attracts art aficionados from various parts of the country. A panel at the institute chooses the western music performers , while Anju Timblo, a Goa-based industrialist in whose hotel the performers are housed, selects the Indian performers.

For historical reasons, Fundacao Oriente is located in Goa, housed in an old Indo-Portuguese building in Panaji's most traditional neighbourhood. The building was purchased specifically for the purpose.

Since Fundacao Oriente used its funds to renovate it, Sergio Mascarenhas, the organisation's then-director , suggested having an annual festival there to celebrate heritage and music . Successive directors have ensured the festival has gone from being a mere 'experiment' to a 'global brand' . "There are lots of people who plan their vacations in Goa to coincide with our festival," Rebello says proudly.

Moreover, the bumpy ride to the chapel doesn't deter music lovers from flocking to this much-awaited event. One even has to leave his/her vehicle at the foot of the hill, and take a rickety shuttle up the serpentine roads. But that just makes the whole trip deliciously old-world .

At the venue, a makeshift platform serves as a stage for the performers while the fading Goan sun forms a magnificent backdrop. Acoustically, too, the setting is perfect. "In the past, Indian performers were apprehensive about the backdrop and setting; they were used to auditoriums with perfect sound and light synchronisation. But having performed here once, artists now believe that this experience is unlike any other," says Rebello.

But what's making organisers of the festival happier than anything else is the mix of crowds the event is attracting. There are the raucous college goers with their flashing mobile phone cameras -despite requests not to use them - and middle-aged and elderly quietly looking out for the best seats. In fact, it isn't unusual to see grandfathers and grandmothers being helped up the narrow winding staircase by their doting grandkids.

The focus of the festival is not only on international cultural bonding, but on retaining the local flavour. "We see to it that good Goan musicians get exposure," says Rebello. And this year, London-based mezzo-soprano Viola Da Cunha will join tabla player Amit Bhonsle, sitar exponent Chhote Rahimat Khan, the Goa State Symphony Orchestra and the Sta Cecilia choir of the famed Rachol Seminary to form the Goan contingent at the festival. They will make music with the likes of Portuguese guitarist Manuel Leao, Romanian pianist Delia Varga and Delhi-based Kuchipudi dancer Shallu Jindal , who is MP Naveen Jindal's wife.

Even in a music loving place like Goa, it's rare to see classical forms of music holding such sway and prominence at a public festival. In a world which seems to have left behind classical and folk genres, it serves as a refreshing change to spend three days at the festival in the 'rave capital of India' .

As a bonus, most of Goa's popular beaches - Calangute, Baga, Miramar, Anjuna - are all within half-an-hour's drive from the centrally-located chapel. And the fact that it's off-season means costs are low, the crowds are absent and tranquillity is guaranteed. Rejuvenation of the soul has never been so easy. For one weekend of solitude, scenery and songs, head to Old Goa.

In Stalingrad, Lennon Rules

2010-01-16T10:24:00.000+05:30

Nigel Britto

(The Times of India, Crest edition, January 16, 2010)

His address is as impossible as his mission. To meet Stalin K, you have to tramp through a small jungle and huff up several steep steps to reach his den on an invisible hill off the beach sprawl of Baga in Goa. From this tranquil coastal redoubt, the man who shall not be surnamed – he shed it twenty years ago because it was a marker of caste – wages a peaceful war for a more equitable society by making documentaries on inconvenient truths like caste and communalism.

The 41-year-old activist’s long, untidy hair is that of a sadhu but his swagger would do Sir Vivian Richards proud. He may be from Gujarat, but the mere mention of Narendra Modi transforms the sage into a Viking. “He’s a dictator,” he proclaims scathingly. “He stands for the opposite of everything that I believe are democratic values.” It was Stalin’s documentary, A Work in Progress, an umambiguous indictment of Modi’s role in the 2002 Gujarat carnage, that was used by the UNHRC in its investigation into the pogrom.

Stalin’s engagement with the politics of the marginalised has its roots in his childhood. “I found it natural to empathise with the poor because I was one of them,” he says. His father was a playwright who didn't make too much money and who wasn't overly bothered about providing for the family. “We were not starving, but not affluent either," says Stalin. "Everything was rationed in our house."

This empathy translated into action in 1984, when a killer gas leaked out from the Union Carbide plant in Bhopal in one of the worst industrial crimes in history. The 16-year-old Stalin used ‘a sports tournament in Nagpur’ as an excuse to his family to sneak to Bhopal, but once there, he returned home to Ahmedabad in two days flat. “It was chaotic and traumatic,” he says. “I couldn’t handle it.”

Since his Bhopal trip was such a secret, the young boy couldn’t share the horror with his family. All he could do to vent his outrage was paint drops of blood on the black cat on the Eveready battery made by Union Carbide. But it was the rage and confusion that bubbled inside that helped shape the sensibility that has made him such a formidable public warrior today. It was a toxic baptism indeed.

In any case, his childhood was not an easy one. When he was three, his parents decided to split, and his mother had to slog in a factory until she got a job at ISRO. He says his Soviet name is the only thing his communist father gave him, hence he decided to stick with it. He grew up reading Dostoevsky and Trotsky (subsidised Russian literature was cheaper than Sidney Sheldon) and got quite used to being mistaken for a Christian. Although not a card-carrying comrade, he found the communist ideology “interesting” and often gave up college camping trips to join tribals protesting atrocities against them. “Till today, I’m more comfortable with tribals,” he says, “be it those from the Narmada valley or the Eastern Shoshonis and Northern Arapohes of Wyoming. Their idea that the earth owns you, not vice versa, resonates deeply with me.”

The other tribe that he enjoys spending time with is the young. Whether it is lecturing at some of the top schools in the world such as Harvard, Yale and IIM-A or replying to messages on Facebook, where 800 of his 1,200 friends are students, working with the young and still idealistic reaffirms his belief that like John Lennon, he may be a dreamer, but he’s not the only one.

But since "fictional romanticism" had little appeal, he decided to do something concrete. Soon after college, he founded a non-profit called Drishti to use media as a tool to campaign for human rights. “It was in 1991, the year which saw the expansion of media from one channel to four,” he says. “Later, I realised that for most of the country, drinking water was more important than four channels.” Still later, his understanding of disempowerment was to deepen. “When I asked some tribals whether they would rather have water or the right and means to say ‘I don’t have water’, most of them chose the latter.”

He chose, therefore, to give them that voice by using his camera the way a soldier would use his canon, as a weapon of mass dissemination. His documentaries explore the entrenched systems of injustice and prejudice that have societal sanction and question the powerfully pervasive presence of an elite that would prefer the poor to speak no evil. Fom Camp Goa, he and Jessica Mayberry run Video Volunteers, an organization that took shape after he met the American researcher in Ahmedabad. “We’re not married by religion or state,” he clarifies. “Our relationship is sanctified by something more powerful— mutual love and respect.”

A grassroots initiative that wants to build a media network for the poorest people of the country, VV is founded on the principle that people have the right to speak rather than to be spoken for. One of the projects, CVU (community video unit), is about providing equipment and training to local groups -- slum dwellers in Mumbai, advasis in the isolated East Godavari district -- to enable them to make films on issues relevant to them. The films are then screened back to them. VV recently partnered with a Brazilian NGO to train children from favelas to make films.

Caste is the latest nettle that Stalin has grasped. His two award-winning films, India Untouched and Lesser Humans, both of which explore the unspeakable crime of untouchablitiy, have swivelled the spotlight back on the lives of millions of Dalits who still suffer it every day. India Untouched is widely accepted as “the most comprehensive look at untouchability ever undertaken on film”. Instead of hammering the viewer with rehtoric, he allows the people to tell the story. In Rajasthan, Rajputs proudly proclaim that the police have to seek their permission before pursuing cases about Dalit atrocities. Leading Hindu scholars from Benaras have no compuctions about saying that Dalits have no right to education. And then there is the tragicomic scene of a primary-level classroom in North India. The camera focuses on Dalits who say they are forced to sit at the back of the class while upper caste students sit in front. Then the camera swings to the upper caste students, who proudly confirm it. The teacher walks in and promptly says the students are lying. But now all the students, Brahmin and Dalit, gang up and say that is the teacher who is lying. This is confirmed by parents standing around.

Naturally, for one who has seen an ancient ugliness flourish in the midst of modernity, triumphal talk of India being a superpower has a hollow ring to it. "India should rather be at peace with itself,” he says, quoting the historian Ramachandra Guha. “A strong people make for a strong nation. Only insecurity can spur violence, and anyway, no country can be a superpower with two-thirds of its population struggling to survive." It’s a miracle, he says, that despite its grinding poverty, India hasn’t had a revolution. "As compared to our neighbours, constantly subject to military takeovers and endless violence, we should consider ourselves very, very happy with only sporadic violence.”

To the widely held middle-class belief that education is the only thing that can raise India’s status and profile, this bio-chemist’s riposte is, “George Bush went to Yale.” And to the even smugger assertion that caste is a thing of the past, he shoots back, “The Times of India’s matrimonial page will teach you a lesson or two about that.”

Shillong's Soulmate shares the blues with Goa

2009-09-20T14:24:00.004+05:30

by Nigel Britto

Sunday Times of India, September 20, 2009

Panaji: What are the odds that a band from far-away Meghalaya would spark feelings of nostalgia about Hendrix, Jimmy Page, and BB King, all at the same time? Not much, right?

Wrong, if the band in question is Soulmate, the ‘pride of the north-east’, widely regarded as one of the best blues-rock bands in this part of the world.

The band was formed by Rudy Wallang and Tipriti Kharbangar in 2002. Seven years and two studio albums later, it's been the same duo who form the soul of Soulmate, adding session musicians whenever they're on the road. In Goa on Friday night, drummer Shaun Nonghulo and bassist Ferdy Dhakar joined the duo. Wallang and Kharbangar did not choose the blues. Instead, “the blues chose us”, they say. Soulmate have performed at hundreds of gigs in India and abroad. In 2007, they became the first Indian band to play at the International Blues Challenge at Memphis, thus cementing their place in the big league. Soon after, their music video I am became popular on the internet, spiralling their popularity among their Indian fans.

And when Soulmate played in Chicalim on Friday evening, this popularity was in ample display, evident from the fact that the band garnered a full-house despite little or no publicity about the gig. “It was totally unexpected, the crowd was fantastic”, said Wallang, who, besides singing and playing the guitar, is responsible for most of the band's lyrical content.

Soulmate is one of the few Indian bands that consistently employ a largely original set at their concerts. In Goa, it was a 70% original list. And their stage-show here was no different. With a largely interactive presentation, the audience were on their feet from beginning to end. Off the stage, Wallang and Kharbangar are affable and docile. On it, they transform into hungry lions; with a powerful and provocative display of musical skill. Songs like “Blues is my soulmate”, an original, made the crowd go wild. Kharbangar sang into a mikestand dotted with magnetic butterflies made of X-ray sheets. If not butterflies, there are magnetic orchids sticking to the mikestand. She says her uncle, an artist, makes them for her. “I’m a huge nature lover”, she smiles.

And she supplements the aesthetics with a huge and expressive voice that would make fans of Christina Aguilera squirm. She obviously enjoys her music, and shows it with a vivacious display of energy, dance and emotion. Wallang is no less, creating his tone from only a miniscule ‘Bad monkey’ processor. Just before landing in Goa, he lost some of his guitar gear. Some of it was flicked, some left behind in a taxi. How did he let us know about it? Through a song, of course. “If you ever see a taxi driver playing the blues, think of me”, he said. Indeed, Soulmate is a band that expresses its emotions through its music.

And for Goa’s blues fans, the concert provided more than merely evening entertainment. It also inspired many. “I realized today, that live, original music can work out in Goa”, said Krish Gidwani, a drummer.

Elliotlouie Afonso, bassist in a thrash metal band, left immediately after the concert and rushed home to practice bass lines. “They’re a total inspiration", he said, adding "Soulmate kicked some serious a** on Friday night”. He has one grouse, though. “Bands like these hardly ever come to Goa”. After Friday night’s gig, that was the overwhelming feeling among the crowd. “Soulmate should come here more often”. If and when they do, to their burgeoning Goan fanbase, nothing else will matter.

A Night At The Opera

2009-08-30T14:11:00.006+05:30

by Nigel Britto
Sunday Times of India, August 30, 2009

Panaji: Donizetti, Rossini, Cimarosa. Sicilian mafia dons? Not quite. In fact, they’re legendary Italian composers whose works featured in the concert "An Operatic experience" on Saturday night at Kala Academy. The performance was the last stop of British soprano Patricia Rozario’s tour of India. And it was phenomenal.

After having performed similar shows in Delhi, Pune and Mumbai, the much-awaited recital got off to a rousing start with tenor Alistair Digges tackling the aria "Where ‘er you walk", from Handel’s 1744 oratorio Semele. As Jupiter, the 27-year-old defied his rather lean physique to create a perfect intonation that resounded through the DMK auditorium. A thunderous applause then greeted Rozario, Goa's most famous classical music exponent, who walked out on the stage to perform the famous aria "Endless pleasure, endless love", also from Semele. Accompanied by Mark Troop, her interpretation was masterful and hypnotic.

Few classical concerts are complete without Mozart. "The Magic Flute", which was composed to a libretto by Schikaneder, featured baritone Dhilan Gnanadurai playing the role of Papageno, a bird-man flute-player who wondered when he'd catch his bird-woman, Papagena (Rozario). The last aria of the opera was the very humorous duet pa, pa, pa, which brought smiles and a lot of enthusiastic clapping, especially from the children.

The evening also featured the Italian romantic composer Giuseppe Verdi, who's generally regarded one of the greatest opera composers alongside Giacomo Puccini. In Rigoletto, baritone Gnanadurai matched Rozario almost note-for-note in a duet, displaying tremendous power and technical ability in doing so. The award-winning Sri Lankan musician, who holds diplomas in three different disciplines (voice, piano, violin), was a crowd favourite. Popular aria Caro nome, which came next, brought out Rozario's full range and virtuosistic breath-control, which left the audience begging for more.

The second half was an Italian invasion. In Cimarosa's Matrimonio Segreto, Digges and Rozario played two lovers (Paolino and Carolina) whose clandestine meetings got interrupted when people unexpectedly turned up at them. Predictably, the unusual story brought smiles. It was followed by five consecutive works of Gaetano Donizetti, including his most famous and recognizable work, Una furtive lagrima.

Though Rozario was undoubtedly the centre of attraction, it was the supporting artistes who impressed many. Digges and Gnanadurai, both of whom are in their 20s, appeared well up to their challenging task and took on their formidable roles with panache. Digges, especially, who idolizes Pavarotti, displayed tremendous maturity in the varying roles he played, from torn lover (Handel's Semele) to a hero who desires an abducted slave-girl (Ambroise Thomas' Elle ne croyait pas, from his opera comique Mignon).

The last piece was Gioachino Rossini's La Danza, which featured all the three singers at the heights of their vocal power. The song expectedly ended with a long standing ovation that forced all the performers back for an encore. This time, it was a song from the popular musical West Side Story.

August was a month of classical concerts in Goa. And many believed the best was saved for last. Musicians and others alike were left "dumbfounded". "It was Fantastic!", said Savio Martires, a prominent jazz musician, adding "this is probably the first time Goa has seen something of this calibre". Builder Philip Braganza agreed. "I've never heard anyone sing this well, ever", he said. Many shared their views.

But as much as the concert was described as "phenomenal" by a majority of those who attended it, all was not rosy. The persistent and unpredictable rains partially affected attendance. And despite strict instructions to the contrary, mobile phones rang and cameras clicked.

Also, several people in the fraternity were peeved by the "only 3/4ths full" hall, while others saw it as a sign of hope. Luis Dias, a doctor and violinist, is one of the hopeful ones. "It would be great to see a packed auditorium to watch a daughter of the soil who is an internationally acclaimed opera star", he said. Unfortunately, it didn’t happen on Saturday. May be next time. Until then, as they say in Italian, arrivederci.

Sanya Cotta's Musical Fairytale

2009-08-27T14:30:00.000+05:30

by Nigel Britto
The Times of India, August 27, 2009

If Finnish composer Jean Silbelius was at Kala Academy on Wednesday evening, he would have been a happy man. Sanya Myla Cotta saw to that, and showed exactly why he's so rarely heard. The reason? Not everybody can pull his music off. The eagerly-awaited concert by Cotta and Romanian pianist Delia Varga left the full-house, as one young fan put it, "reluctant to go back home". Obviously, they did not disappoint.

The much-awaited performance, which started with Mozart and Bach, got progressively more electrifying as the Goan prodigy went on to tackle rarer names like Kreisler and Sibelius, whose compositions ranged from gypsy to bohemian and staccato, accentuated by extremely technical passages. Her renditions of Violin concerto in D minor and Allegro moderato by Sibelius strengthened her already close rapport with her audience, and firmly propelled her into a league few Indian musicians of her age have reached. A testimony of both agility and stamina, a young Goan violin student later likened her performance of those pieces to that of "a hungry cheetah on steroids".

If Sibelius proved her mastery of technique, Ziguener-Capriccio by Kreisler displayed her prowess as a performer. The sudden transformation of the melody, which was sometimes quick in spasms and sometimes loaded with mystique, was handled impressively with obvious ease and a composed lyricism.

At the end of it all, a thousand appreciative fans demanded an encore.

She obliged, adding the mando "Adues Korcho Vello" to her formidable repertoire, for which she teamed up with younger brother Dane, an 18-year-old piano diploma-holder. "It felt great", the violinist exclaimed later. The 23-year-old is a Fellow of London’s Trinity College of Music and has recently joined the prestigious German Youth Orchestra. Pianist Delia Varga is from Romania, in India as a teacher at Mumbai’s Mehli Mehta foundation.

Sanya’s father and mentor Schubert Cotta, a prominent classical guitarist and teacher, organized the concert as part of his newly-launched Opus Gala project, which believes that "music is the heartbeat of Goa". He was thrilled at the response the concert attracted. "We’re here to raise the bar", he says. "And the fact that we had a full house speaks a lot". Sanya Cotta, too, agreed. "There is an obvious increase in interest in western classical music and it's very good to know", she said.

In fact, Goa has had an unusually high number of classical concerts in August, which have won the genre a lot of new fans. The Goa State Symphonic Orchestra under the baton of Pheroze Mistry played to full houses in four locations earlier this month. And yesterday’s recital was not the end of it. Come Saturday, and Goa-born British soprano Patricia Rozario will conclude her India tour with a recital at Kala Academy.

Coming To A Screen Near You: Diary Of A Nobody

2009-08-17T01:22:00.001+05:30

by Meenakshi Kumar and Nigel Britto
Sunday Times of India, August 16, 2009

Zulekha Sayyed is no celebrity. But at a recently concluded workshop on citizen journalism in Goa, the 22-year-old Mumbai slumdweller was feted like a star. Small wonder because Sayyed is one of the most recognizable faces of the community video revolution that is changing lives of ordinary people across the country. Rickshawpullers, farm labourers and diamond polishers are among the 100, almost-trained video producers who were part of the five-day workshop.

The extraordinary experiment is a sociological revolution of sorts. By capturing the myriad problems of their humble lives on camera, these largely unlettered people are almost writing a diary. And the diary of a nobody arguably promotes self-awareness , the first stage of self-development . The basic idea is that people have the right to speak, rather than be spoken for.

It is the Indian manifestation of a timeworn trend. In 1892, The Diary of a Nobody was published in England. A lower middle-class clerk was the main protagonist and he defended his right to write a diary.

Similarly, the 100 or so Indian video producers are telling their stories, through the camera today. Video Vounteers (VV), the non-governmental organization involved in their training, says the batch has been doing this since 2006. The experiment is the brainchild of New Yorker Jessica Mayberry, a former television journalist, who divides her time between the US and India. But the idea has been taken forward by VV in concert with Gujarat-based human rights NGO, Drishti. From six community video units (CVUs) three years ago to 13 today, 50 producers originally to more than a 100 across Gujarat, Andhra Pradesh , Maharashtra and Rajasthan, VV has changed many lives. Mayberry says, “It’s amazing to see the change. When I started training some of them, they were shy, inhibited . Today, they are confident young men and women, who can challenge the corrupt system.”

VV is not the only community media group in the country. In Bihar’s remote Ramlila Gachi village , women with handycams on bicycles have become a common sight. Aapaan Samachar, an allwomen community news network launched in 2007, uses women power to focus on local issues, such as lack of electricity and water . The women shoot, edit and even anchor the films, which are broadcast on local television.

A similar story has been playing out for nearly a decade in the hinterland of Andhra Pradesh. A group of poor Dalit women has been trained by a grassroots NGO, the Deccan Development Society (DDS), to make films on subjects close to their hearts — water scarcity , food problems, lack of roads etc. They’ve made films such as Why Are Warangal Farmers Angry with Bt Cotton; Water, Life and Livelihoods and Ten Women and a Camera. Two years ago, their films made history of a sort when they were included in the retrospective section of Mumbai’s International Film Festival.

This raises a pertinent question : Do these CVUs really make a difference and act as an agent of change? Yes, says P V Satheesh, a founder-member of DDS, who was responsible for training the women filmmakers. “The mainstream media will be truly democratic once the marginalized are able to contribute to discussion of various issues. That’s when the real social changes will be noticeable, somewhat like the RTI.”

Mayberry says these videos play a significant role in grassroots development. “It’s important to get people to communicate and CVUs help in that. They encourage community based communication , which is important for development and social change,” she says.

And then there is the blossoming of the individual. Rajeshwari, a 22-year-old tribal from a remote Andhra Pradesh hamlet, is part of the CVU, Manyam Prajya. Today, she is a well-known known face in 34 villages. “Not too long ago, nobody knew me,” she says. “Today, people from higher castes tell their daughters, ‘You should become like Laxmi’s daughter’ .” For Jitendra Makhwan, 26, a Dalit who spent his childhood polishing gems in Bhavnagar, the camera has helped to break age-old caste barriers. For the first time, he was allowed inside a temple, thanks to his camera.

It’s stories like these that convince Mayberry and others like her that they are on the right track.

When copying gets really bad

2009-06-29T14:38:00.004+05:30

We probably all know by now that almost every Indian movie is a copy of a Hollywood one. That's okay, actually, as long as you don't really screw up and misinterpret just about everything in it.

If there's one guy you can't copy, it has to be Michael Jackson. Thriller, released in 1982, was and is one of the greatest music videos of all time. Yet, somebody in India tried to rip it off. The makers of the Telegu film Kondaveeti Donga, starring Chiranjeevi and Radha. It's quite an old movie, 1985, and hence this video has been circulating for a while now, so many readers will probably already have seen it. For those who haven't, there's a treat awaiting you.

This is the original Thriller video, posted in case you haven't seen it or have simply forgotten what it's about. Copy and paste the link in a new window, and then be sure to come back.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-TZnNXXQrI

What you just watched on Youtube is a video that revolutionized music videos. It's Michael Jackson at his best.

And now, this is India at its worst. You don't have to leave this page. All the misery in the world will unfold before your eyes.

Ever wondered why Pakistan always wanted to bomb the shit out of India?

Adeus, Minguel-bab. Deu borem korum

2009-06-26T21:14:00.003+05:30

In a world filled with hate, we must still dare to hope. In a world filled with anger, we must still dare to comfort. In a world filled with despair, we must still dare to dream. And in a world filled with distrust, we must still dare to believe. -Michael Jackson (1959-2009)

by Nigel Britto

In the end, he was denied that final curtain call. When I received a message this morning saying that the 'King of Pop' took his final bow in a Los Angeles hospital, I couldn't believe it; I cursed at the 'irresponsible' person spreading 'malicious rumours'. Even after logging on, there was widespread confusion about who exactly it was that stated the absurd. Everyone waited, with utter disbelief, for a 'credible source' to state it, to state what they did not want to hear, to see what they did not wish to believe. Then CNN broke it, and left the world numb for a while. Truth is, he was larger than life, and such was the image the most famous man on the planet came to represent.

Everyone acknowledged that this was indeed the end of an era. His death sparked off a trail of tributes of a magnitude unmatched by the late Pope, Pavarotti and Freddie Mercury combined. One newspaper called him 'The Lead Story of popular music'. Convention was thrown to the wind as news websites relegated everything else to distant corners. Facebook reported that in the hour following his death, status traffic was thrice the average. Twitter apologized for its server malfunctioning due to massive demand. AOL topped it, "Today was a seminal moment in Internet history. We’ve never seen anything like it in terms of scope or depth." In fact, so many people wanted to verify the initial reports of his death that Google's computers branded the surge as an automated attack! Personally, never have I seen almost everybody's internet statuses relating to the same event. Only old Jacko could pull this off.

The tributes came in from far and wide, and deservedly so. At his peak, Michael Jackson was the world's greatest superstar. 750 million albums' sales, 13 Grammies and around a billion fans would vouch for that. Known as much for his bizarre fashion sense and his moonwalk as for his music, he inspired a generation. The entire music world ground to a halt, as did the internet, to remember their departed colleague. Paul McCartney said, "He was a massively talented boy man with a gentle soul. His music will be remembered forever and my memories of our time together will be happy ones." Madonna says she's so said, she can't stop crying. But it isn't just his Hollywood buddies who feel the loss. His global influence is an integral part of the rich legacy he leaves behind. In India, too, MJ will be missed. "He was an artist who inspired entire generations, made pop music what it is. I remember falling in love with music because of him. A big, big, big loss and an unsurmountable universal tragedy". The ultimate tribute from Parikrama frontman Nitin Malik.

Of course, many tributes also come from shady sources. I don't think either you or I care what David Miliband or Fall Out Boy think about the departed soul. Hugo Chavez, by the way, thinks this is 'lamentable news'. Several British politicians too expressed their condolences. The Guardian hopes they won't claim a wreath on expenses!

Like Jimi Hendrix or John Lennon, it will be impossible to decipher the full impact of Michael Jackson's contribution to modern culture. He made pop a global phenomenon. He reinvented music videos. He revolutionized music marketing. A former head of Sony Music said, "he was the cornerstone to the entire music business". A radio channel I was listening to this afternoon called him 'the greatest performer of the millenium'. Probably so. There has never been, and there is likely never to be an individual as mesmerizing as Jackson. He wasn't just a singer, but an entire entertainment package compressed into one human being. Songs like Thriller and Billy Jean will continue to remain anthems no matter who attempts to fill his void. And songs like Heal the world too are unlikely to be forgotten till the world is healed, and that doesn't seem to be happening.

His life was a circus, yet during his long journey from boy wonder to superstar to alleged paedophile to humanist, he wasn't alone; his fans (and the paparazzi, might I add) stood steadfastly by him, and he lived most of his life in the public eye he so dearly loved. Somehow he's managed to take that preference into death too. Michael Jackson would have been happy to see these images. They are the undelible mark of a genius of the highest calibre. So long, Minguel, and thank you for the music. Adeus.

Anne Frank: The Girl Who Made A Difference

2009-06-12T22:36:00.008+05:30

by Nigel Britto

Looking back at the Holocaust three-quarters of a century later, we realize just two names out of the scores involved will remain forever in our collective consciousness. One is the predatory Adolf Hitler; archetypal tyrant, symbol of intolerance, embodiment of evil, and eventually, epitome of cowardice. The second is Anne Frank. Innocent and angelic; the daughter of a Jew, thus a victim of her circumstance.

Had she not been killed in a concentration camp, she would have turned 80 today. Generations of her family would have come together to celebrate the birthday of the girl who, in life, epitomized courage and maturity; and in death, inspired, motivated and moved to tears millions of those who read her memoirs, a literary classic, a humane narrative, and the ultimate documentation of the horrors of the Holocaust.Yet, so many years later, we still think of Anne Frank as a young girl who thought, dreamed and hoped, like any other ambitious teenager, of ‘the day when she’d be able to realize her ideals’. That was not to be. A year after she wrote that, she died of Typhus in the Bergen-Belsen concentration camp in Germany.

Anne Frank was born in 1929 to Otto Frank and Edith Hollander in Frankfurt. She had an elder sister, Margot. In 1933 Otto Frank took his family moved to Amsterdam after the Nazis took over Germany. In 1940, Hitler invaded Holland, and the saga began. Anti-Semitic laws were put into effect; Jews had to be segregated, and sheltering Jews attracted the death penalty.In 1942, Otto Frank and his family hid in a secret annex of a house, Prinsengracht 263 in Amsterdam, a house which has since been immortalized. They were provided food and other necessities by Otto’s most trusted confidantes. They lived there with another family until 1944, when Nazi forces stomped their way into the house, and deported all its inhabitants to concentration camps.Till date, no one knows who betrayed the Franks. In 1945, the Bergen-Belsen concentration camp was liberated, and the world war ended. But it was too late. Anne had already left this world by then.

She got the diary on her 13th birthday, three weeks before her family went into hiding. The book was soon to become her best friend. For ‘comfort and support’, she addressed it as ‘Dear Kitty’. Anne chronicled her life in the secret annex, wrote about her family, and expressed her hopes, fears, dreams and curiosities. The diary was published in 1947 in Dutch. In 1952 it was translated to English. Since then, it has been translated into 67 languages, and sold over 31 million copies. It has sometimes been described as ‘the most widely-read book after the Bible’.

What, I believe, makes the Diary of Anne Frank so compelling is that it resonates with everyone who reads it. She didn’t only write about persecution and prejudice. She also wrote about sexuality, relationships, and her hopes for world peace. Instead of brooding over the sound of gunfire and bombs, she chose to find hope in nature. “I hear the approaching thunder that, one day, will destroy us too”, she wrote. “I feel the suffering of millions. And yet, when I look up at the sky, I somehow feel that everything will change for the better, that this cruelty too shall end, that peace and tranquility will return once more”. Her readers like to quote the diary’s most famous line. “Despite everything, I believe that people are really good at heart", she wrote. "I simply can’t build up my hopes on a foundation consisting of confusion, misery and death”.

When the world was still trying to figure out the Holocaust, along came this book. She was an extraordinary writer, for any age. The lessons are timeless. She launched her entire personality into her little project, and a personality, unlike an era, can be related to. She portrayed, with spellbinding eloquence, a reality that once existed, and draws us into it. She showed us what it’s like to be a prisoner of war, to escape death everyday. She described her existence in excruciating detail. She showed us the consequences of prejudice, well prevalent even today, and how far astray it can lead us. She taught us that ‘whoever is happy will make others happy too’. She put a face to genocide, she put a face to hope.

She aspired to be a writer. Toward the end of her life, she wrote, “If God lets me live, I will work for humankind. I want to do good in this world, and I want to write… Will I ever be able to write something great, will I ever become a journalist or a writer?”Sixty-five years after her death, she lives, and millions will testify that her dreams as a writer have been fulfilled beyond her wildest imagination. Happy Birthday, Anne Frank.

Pablo: A state of mind

2009-04-25T18:58:00.001+05:30

Many years ago, a little boy from the Spanish city of Seville asked his father, 'cuándo voy a ser la edad suficiente para hacer lo que quiero'. His dad looked at him for a moment. 'No lo sé. Nadie ha vivido tanto tiempo aún', the bespectacled Mr.Garcia replied. His 6-year-old son, Pablo, looked at him with sorrow in his eyes. But in that sorrow was determination. 'Tarde o temprano, voy a hacer lo que quiero. Callate', he thought to himself.

He was an ambitious kid. He realized his true potential when once, in school, he managed to divide an integer by zero. His baffled teachers, of course, dismissed him as a jerk. A few years later, in biology class, the teacher, Fernanda, was explaining Darwin's theory of evolution. Pablo stood up. 'No hay teoría de la evolución. Sólo hay una lista de criaturas que me han permitido vivir'. Fernanda told Pablo to shut up. Pablo gave his teacher an icy stare, and walked out of the class, slamming the revolving door on his way out.

That was the last time Pablo set foot in a classroom. Of course, for a person who has counted to infinity twice, a classroom wasn't necessary. He set about writing his first book, 'Diario de Pablo' at the age of 10. Well, he didn't have to write it, actually. The words assembled themselves out of fear. Due to unfortunate circumstances, the book never saw the light of day. The manuscript was stolen from Pablo's house by Leslie, an Indian thief and rapist who came to Spain looking for booty. Pablo knew, but didn't mind. I asked Pablo about it as we sat chatting in his modest home. "Perdonar es establecer un preso libre y descubrir que el detenido fue usted".

He learnt about forgiveness long ago, as a kid. "Cuando yo era un niño solía rezar cada noche para una nueva bicicleta. Entonces me di cuenta de que el Señor no funciona de esa manera lo que me robaron una y le pedíque me perdone". In any case, Pablo believes in sharing. Life, information, knowledge. "Una vela no pierde nada por otro la iluminación de velas", he says. One thing Pablo really believes in is sharing information. He does that in a big way on his website.
He then took a sip of his coffee. Water actually. He ground the coffee with his teeth and boiled the water with his own rage.

Everyone fears him, as does this writer. When I was waiting for him in his rather dark study, I wondered if would get out alive. No one ever wants to be near Pablo when he's angry. The tales of his fury are legendary in his neighbourhood. Well, not just his neighbourhood. Intelligence sources say that Pablo features as the binding reason for several of NASA's space expeditions. Infact, Richard Branson's interest in space, including his travels there, stem from the fact that they fear being on the same planet as Pablo.

As I was waiting in fear, he came in. He didn't switch the lights on. He switched the darkness off. Infact, legend has it that he invented the colour black. Actually, he invented VIBGYOR, the entire spectrum. Not pink, though. Brad Pitt invented Pink.

Serial killers

2009-03-31T10:25:00.001+05:30

A Serial Killer is a person who kills several people one after the other, seemingly in a random fashion. However, all of the killer’s victims share a common trait – usually they have activated some psychological trigger in the killer’s mind, or they have similar physical appearances.

Many serial killers are found to have come from a dysfunctional family. Often they may suffer from complex emotions such as feeling inadequate or worthless. Some of them kill compulsively due to power or sexual urges. Most of these serial killers have a rich imaginary life where they are superior and powerful, women are attracted to them and they are successful people.

Here is a list of famous Serial Killers: Men:

Jack the Ripper: Responsible for the murders of prostitutes from the Whitechapel Area of London in 1888, Jack the Ripper’s identity is yet unknown. His victims were prostitutes and they were brutally murdered and some of their internal organs were surgically removed by the killer.

Ed Gein: He was a famous serial killer and proved to be an inspiration for Thomas Harris for creating the famous character of Hannibal Lecter in "The Silence of the Lambs". Ed Gein would skin his victims, exhume corpses and then decorate his home with parts of their bodies and use the skin to make clothes and furniture items. He died on the 26th of July, 1984 in a mental institution.

The Zodiac Killer: He was responsible for five known murders in North Carolina in the 1960s. His identity remains unknown till date. He would target men and women between the ages of 16 and 29 and would leave a taunting sign of a crosshair like symbol in subsequent letters to the Police Department. A few of his cryptic messages are still not de-coded.

Charles Manson: This serial killer has re-defined evil. He was the leader of a hippie cult in San Francisco called as "The Family" formed around 1967. Members were mostly men and women who were rebelling against their parents and in deep emotional trouble. He used drugs and convinced them to go on killing rampages to rob the wealthy to provide for "The Family". They would then write messages soaked in the blood of the victims on the walls of the house.

Ted Bundy: One of the most notorious serial killers in history, he was responsible for the rape and murder of several women between 1974 and 1978. An educated and charming young man, he either raped and then killed the women or killed and then raped them. His method of killing was either by strangulation or by bludgeoning the women. He was arrested on the 16th of August, 1975, but escaped within 17 hours of his capture. He was subsequently arrested on the 15th of February, 1978. On the 24th of January, 1989, Ted Bundy was sent to the electric chair.

David Berkowitz: Known as the "Son of Sam", he was responsible for killing six women and wounding several others in shootings using a .44 caliber pistol in the 1970s in New York City. He was arrested by the Police on the 10th of August, 1977 outside his apartment in New York.

Here is a list of Famous Female Serial Killers:

Mary Ann Cotton: She was an English Serial Killer and had killed more than 20 people, including her own children, by using arsenic and then collected their insurance money. She was hanged on the 24th of March, 1873 at the Durham County Jail.

Marybeth Tinning: Working as a nurse’s aide, she was notorious for having killed nine of her own children by strangulating them and taking them to the hospital almost dead. She went un-noticed by the hospital authorities for a very long time, since they thought that these deaths were a genetic problem in the family. When she brought her adopted son to the hospital in an unconscious state, and he was later declared to be dead, the doctors began to suspect foul play. She was convicted on the 17th of July, 1987 and was sentenced to life imprisonment.

Nannie Doss: Also known as the "Giggling Granny" she was responsible for the killing of 11 people between 1920 and 1954. Her victims included her two sisters, her mother, a grandson, a nephew and her four husbands. She was sentenced to life imprisonment in 1955 and died 10 years later of leukemia.

Belle Gunness: Born in 1859, her whereabouts still unknown, she was responsible for the killings of more than 20 suitors and all of her children. Belle was also famous for burning down houses and collecting insurance money for the property and for her dead husbands. Later on, she progressed to placing an advertisement for a husband in a newspaper and luring prospective suitors to her home and killing them. She would bury the bodies in her farm and hog pen.

Dorothea Puente: In 1988, this 60 year old woman was sentenced to serve two terms of life imprisonment for the murders of at least 9 people. She would run a boarding house for elderly disabled people, and rob them of their benefit money. She would also kill them and keep on taking the government benefits by forging their checks.

Aileen Wuornos: An American Serial Killer, she was a prostitute and was put to death by lethal injection on the 9th of October, 1992. She was charged with killing seven men, who she claimed (attempted to) rape her while she was working as a prostitute.

How good is your Hindi, eh, rockers?

2009-03-05T11:24:00.001+05:30

Imagine a world where all the great bands had their names in Hindi. This is what a few of them would sound like. How many can you identify?

भृंग
तुम भी
बंदूकों और गुलाब के फूल
आभारी मृत लोग
मख़मली भूमिगत
गुलाबी Floyd
ठंडा खेल
रानी
दरवाज़े
कौन
ZZ ऊपर
मोती जाम
ख़ौफ़नाक जलग्रीवा
लाल गर्म मिर्च मिर्च
मशीन के खिलाफ जुनून
सपना थिएटर
झपट
उपकरण
मेरी रासायनिक प्यार
मंगल के लिए 30 सेकंड
हत्यारा
काले विश्रामदिन
उक़ाब
बिच्छू
बहरा तेंदुआ
सभी आदमी भाइयों
विश्वसनीयता साफ पानी के पुनरुद्धार
बैंगनी गहरी
हाँ
चुंबन
लोहे के प्रथम
मृत्यु
मोटर सिर
यहूदा पुजारी
पंचमेल चालक दल
जंजीरों में ऐलिस
भुट्टा
एक नीचे की प्रणाली
नरभक्षक लाश
आग में
बड़ी दुश्मन
रात की इच्छा
काली आँख मटर
उद्धार का दर्द
टसेपेल्लिन नेतृत्व
मज़हब
बेंजामिन तोड़ने
मांस का कंद
तीन दरवाजे नीचे
विदेशी चींटी खेत
प्यारी के लिए मौत टैक्सी
अपने वेलेंटाइन के लिए गोली
हरे रंग का दिन
जिमी दुनिया खा
माचिस बीस
ऑडियो दास
झपकी 182
कौवा गिनती
सम्प्रदाय
डैशबोर्ड इकबालिया
Foo सेनानियों
कचरा
मल मल गुड़िया
राजाओं लियॉन की
जीवन घर
विचार
कोई शक नहीं
शाद्वल
वंशज
गिरावट का कवि
अमेरिका के राष्ट्रपति
कद्दू विनाशकर
बर्फ गश्ती
तीसरी आँख अंधा

iTimes user review

2009-02-02T13:00:00.011+05:30

The Times Group’s much-talked-about social networking site, which has been in the air for sometime now, finally made an unimpressive landing. I got to know about it after all TOI’s city-specific supplements (Bombay Times, Goa Times, bla bla) carried it as their front page lead. Having being told about a coming ‘renaissance’ in the social networking circuit, I read the article with mild interest. By the end of it, the interest was gone; yet I decided to try it out (for want of something better to do).

First of all, the name. Remember when Hyundai launched the Sonata in India? Everyone said that the company shamelessly borrowed styling cues from bigger marques (front from the Mercedes-Benz C-class and rear from the Jaguar S). The Times Group seems to have done a Hyundai here. The name iTimes seems a direct copy of the 'uber-sophisticated' iTunes brand. And what better way to make your brand ‘cool’ than coloring the letters like Google? That’s the logo for you. Lowercase I (which probably follows from TOI’s genius initiative of replacing the standard first-person pronoun in their Editorial page) followed by a very colorful t.u.n.e.s. With a teeny-weeny Beta written underneath (Read: if something fucks up here, we ain’t responsible for it).

On top of the screen, there’s an option, ‘Make iTimes your homepage’. Hah! I’d rather make George Bush my hero. Also there’s a rolling bar that says ‘most popular profiles’ where some pictures of pretty girls in clichéd dp poses stare at you. Nothing new in that, though. Aren’t you tired of that kind of marketing? I am.

While signing in, the impolite website stubbornly asks you which year you were born in. But that’s the only goof-up there. The rest of the sign-up is smooth. It will send you a verification mail. Click, click, click, then you’re in.

Once in, I was dismayed at the goofiness of it all. Absolute clutter. Tabs, menus and options. To the right, there’s a ‘make new friends’ menu, and another called ‘browse profiles’ (The two names flashing there were Wafa Haji and Lavanya Ball) . Of course, all these prospective friends are women, as usual. Why, though? What if I’m gay?

To the left, there’s a ‘Buzzmeter’ box, which wonders why some SHWETA chick is getting so many views for her profile. Then there’s a tab called ‘Your day’, which contains your horoscope and the weather. iTunes says I should be expecting a high of 23 degrees and low of 8 degrees. Sigh. I wish. I so wish.

Then the horoscope tab. This one was good, since it was the first time I’d seen a website-specific horrorscope. “Don't worry about whether or not you're seeing everything as it really is -- the world is full of veils and illusions today. If you can enjoy the show, that's probably as good as it's going to get.” Veils and illusions indeed.

To the right of the screen, there’s a ‘celeb’s profile’ tab. Of the first four celebs that flashed, I hadn’t heard of any, so no point wasting time there.

In the edit profile tab, nothing new. Just copied attributes from Orkut/Facebook, etc. The favourites tab gets a bit ridiculous though. It asks you for your favourite everything, from possessions to swear words. Blah.

Nothing more in the site worth mentioning. Of course, there are blogs, feeds, messages, videos, etc whatever Facebook, Orkut and Hi5 already have. Ok, one interesting feature. When you scroll right to the bottom, there’s an option that says ‘go to top’. Hah! Now that’s innovation. Facebook didn’t think of that.

Ok, so that’s iTimes for you. Of course, I didn’t have the patience to check out every available feature. There are too many of them, but nothing original. Almost as if the iTimes team didn't know where to stop.

So, a final review wrapup, from a user’s point of view: Overall a neat site, but that’s about it. Nothing new, nothing innovative (apart from that button at the bottom, of course). Certainly not for you if you’re used to Facebook and the like. If you’re the kind that sends out franship requests to random people and stuff like I want to make the franship with the you will you please the be my cool friend, you’ve found what you’re looking for. It’s got precisely that kind of ambience.

One thing’s still worrying me though. I’m yet to figure out how to get out of the site for good.

Go iTimes. A genetically-modified apple a day keeps your sanity away.

Avrilian Analysis

2009-01-02T15:44:00.001+05:30

As we've seen and heard, totally pointless and stupid lyrics are not alien to us. But the undisputed queen of bad lyrics is Avril Lavigne. This is one of her most popular songs. When I listened to it, a lotta questions popped in my mind. So I decided to jot them down.

I'm with you

I'm standin' on the bridge (Great. What next? Hurry up, no coast guard around)
I'm waitin' in the dark, (Even if they are, they won't see you!)
I thought that you'd be here, by now. (Err. Who?)

Theres nothing but the rain, (Thank Heavens for that)
no footsteps on the ground, (Yay!)
Im listening, but there's no sound. (Er. But what about the rain? Are you deaf?)

Isn't anyone tryin' to find me? (Nope… definitely not!)
Won't somebody come take me home. (Ewwww. You must be kiddin! We hate rats!)

Chorus:
It's a damn cold night, (Sheh men! Who would have thought?)
Tryin' to figure out this life, (The fact that you're on a bridge in the dark means you've already failed?)
Won't you take me by the hand,
Take me somewhere new, (The mental hospital cool with you?)
I don't know who you are but I,
I'm with you.
I'm with you.(Who, again?! Have you been kidnapped?! Yay!)

I'm lookin' for a place, (Aha! IPHB)
I'm searchin' for a face, (You definitely lost yours after Girlfriend, dincha?)
Is anybody here I know, (No one would dare admit it, anyways)
Cause' nothin's goin right, (I can see that)
And everything's a mess, (Well, you definitely are))
And no one likes to be alone. (Ahh. And what about the person you didn't know whom you were with??!)

Isn't anyone tryin' to find me? (Again, no)
Won't somebody come take me home. (hahahaha. As Dickens would say, Great expectations)

Chorus:
It's a damn cold night,
Tryin' to figure out this life, (Stilll???!!! Thought you would be done by now! :( )
Won't you take me by the hand, (Hand? Naah. Maybe a leash, if I HAD to)
Take me somewhere new, ( :) There's a lot of new places if you'd only jump over your bridge!)
I don't know who you are but I,
I'm with you. I'm with you. (Not again, please… Shit! is that you, Fred?)
Yaeah (:| )

Oh, why is everything so confusing, (No no, Avril, it's just you)
Maybe I'm just out of my mind, (BIINNGGOOOOOOO!!!!!! Finally!! :) )
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah ( Happy realization!)

Chorus:
It's a damn cold night
Tryin to figure out this life (After these atrocious lyrics, so am I)
Won't you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new (Heeeeee)
I don't know who you are but I,
I'm with you
I'm with you (Hey but wait. If it's both dark and silent (apart from the fact that you're alone), how do you deduce that there's someone with you?! Megalomania? Eh! Screw you man. I'm wasting time listening to you :( )

'New Year celebrations superficial'

2009-01-02T11:23:00.003+05:30

(This article first appeared on the Times of India dated 1/1/2009, on Page 2 of the Goa edition)

Camurlim resident Lourdes Conceicao Lobo, who is celebrating her 100th New Year, takes a walk down memory lane and tells Nigel Britto how the world has changed

Camurlim: The walls at her home hint at a remarkable journey. Although freshly painted, the monotony of the bright yellow takes a break with various pictures and portraits from different decades of the previous century, many of which were put up by the lady herself. Among the many tapestries is a papal blessing, a parchment sealed and autographed by the late Pope John Paul II.

While liberated Goa celebrates its 48th New Year on Thursday, Lourdes Conceicao Lobo of Camurlim, Bardez, celebrates her 100th. Talking to the centenarian in her living room, she doesn't appear hundred; her voice, quivering with age, is soft as she switches between English, Konkani and Portuguese when the English word fails to capture her thought.

For the hundredth time, she will celebrate the occasion with her family. Just as she has done since 1908. Looking up from her newspaper in response to a question, she takes the opportunity to stress the importance of family get-togethers. "Christmas and Easter, especially, are family feasts, to be celebrated by the family," says the feisty woman, who was born decades before Mario Puzo raised the status of blood-ties to an iconic level with his series of novels set in the Italian hinterland.

Back to the newspaper. She loves them, according to the two daughters she lives with, and can't survive without them. "Since I have free time, I first go through the obituaries, so I can pray for the dead," she says, matter-of-factly. (Her patron saint, incidentally, is St Joseph, patron of a happy death.)

There's one major difference though, according to her, which distinguishes life in the early 1900s with that today. "It's rotten today. Human beings are rotten!" she emphasizes acerbically. "There is no love, no unity. Read the papers, they're full of murder, rape, suicide and other crimes," says Lobo, who has seen the inside a hospital only at the birth of her four children.

She reminisces, "Look at how we built our houses in the past," she says, gesturing at the Indo-Portuguese styled house she has lived in since 1963. "There were no robberies the way there are now. We could live our lives in peace, without fear. These days, people are driven by fear hence they build grilled prisons for themselves," she says, referring to modern urban architecture.

The centenarian also rues the decline of the family as a unit. "There isn't any unity now! We see around us broken families, broken homes. Parents don't look after children and correspondingly, kids don't look after their parents. These kind of things were an extreme rarity last century," says this grandmother of six who has lived through both world wars.

Another missing aspect is the respect for your fellowmen. "Youth no longer have any respect for elders. When I was young, we used to respect and seek blessings from older people. Now, that respect is reserved only for money," she declares scathingly, before continuing in the same vein, "People don't even have time for the Rosary (family or community prayer). They only have time to gossip!"

At hundred, this St Joseph devotee is one of the oldest living people in Goa. "No secret to a long life," she says. "Just the Will of God." And she believes that she has the perfect solution to the present mess our society is in. It's the same philosophy Jesus preached two millennia ago. "Love God, and love thy neighbour," she says, with a twinkle in her eye.

To party or not to party?

2008-12-21T16:34:00.000+05:30

This article first appeared on the Sunday Times of India, December 21, 2008, on Page 6 of the Goa edition.

When rumours began doing the rounds that the state government might ban beach parties during the incendiary days around Christmas and New Year
this year, many citizens heaved a sigh of relief.

The (pseudo)intellectuals said that clamping down on the fun (at the cost of our economy) is not the solution. Even the state government, which, before Saturday's ban, had been masquerading behind the dubious facade of "Oh, it's about tourism and economy", seemed to back that view.

But on Thursday, one Collector imposed a ban on beach parties. The sigh of relief again. May be this was one sign that our kiddy administration was maturing? By evening that day, however, the ban was lifted. "This is damaging the state and the tourism sector," Digu had said. A sigh again. Not of relief, though. The one of relief turned out to be the audacity of hope.

On Friday, Digu said the party's on. On Saturday, it was not. At the time of writing this piece, Digu had effected the ban. Another flip-flop on the cards? Read Monday's edition.

In the aftermath of the carnage in neighbouring Mumbai, many people realized that life is indeed the most important asset of all.

On 26,27/11, the rich and poor together were reduced to mere targets in the terrorists' crosshairs. In the days that followed, Mumbaikars thronged the streets in protest, criticizing the establishment, yet grateful to be left alive. Around the country and the world, people talked of protecting life, resulting in two bills in that context that were passed in Parliament. There are talks of National Security Guard (NSG) units being set up around the country. But in Goa, things are different.

Who cares if a few people die? Actually, who cares if locals die? Apparently, nobody. Certainly not our government. Why did it act confused for so long before effecting the ban? The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind. It's the economy. With the ban', the message is clear: Please spare the semi-nude tattooed firangs who throng our shores, respected terrorists, will ya! Because Atithi Devo Bhava (guest is god), right?

The promoters of the year's biggest beach party, Sunburn, Indivibe (which is now incidentally cancelled following the ban'), on December 14 sent a text message advertizing that the Goa government extended full support and security' to their trance/techno festival. However, sources in the police department later admitted that they applied for security only on December 18.

What then made the organizers of Sunburn so sure of government cooperation? Because, the government psyche is apparently predictable; it's that time of the year. Eat, drink, and make merry. While our ministers and the higher echelons of society have their protection, many nightclubs too now have claimed police protection.

While the police made it clear that there should be a ban on beach parties, many in the state government didn't seem to think it was necessary (what suddenly changed the chief pendulum's mind, we do not know as of now).

The government doesn't seem to get it that when it comes to a terror threat, it is absolutely imperative to take any and ALL precautionary measures to prevent a rerun, for example, of what happened in Mumbai recently. The slightest intelligence input should have been sufficient to effect this ban on beach parties immediately.

During the Mumbai attacks, even when prior intelligence reports hinted at a possible jehadi attack, no one really cared. In fact,even after the attacks, it took a good few hours to pass before security agencies got their feet moving. Why are we so indifferent in Goa? Why is it so easy to carry a bag into the police headquarters unchecked? Why are we begging so desperately for a Goa edition of 26/11?

It is in the best of state's interests that the government has banned all beach parties, irrespective of their location and prior permissions, if any.

Incidentally, several citizens might also find their businesses dropping, but tackling the terror menace calls for extremely tough measures that are bound not to please everyone. Prevention is better than cure. Reading my history books however, I haven't found an instance of cure' yet.

Dilly-dallying on critical issues is not alien to Goa. It was done with regional plans, Special Economic Zones (SEZ), etc. Those issues however, are merely' economic. This one concerns life and death. And government apathy will simply not do in this case. It needs to decide with conviction whether security or economy takes top priority (not only in December, but throughout the year).

Any terrorist would love the Goa government for its confusion, indecisiveness and indifference. Though the TOI had obtained a copy of a letter by chief secretary J P Singh that stated that Goa was on the al-Qaida radar, the government fell over themselves later denying the report. The letter of the inspector general of police (IGP), too, was hotly denied. Digu promised Goa that there is nothing to worry about. Churchill Alemao and Jose Philip D'Souza too joined the No Fear' bandwagon. No more.

For now, everyone believes there is indeed a reason to fear. For now.

Credit: The Times of India

Step aside Bushisms, Obamaisms are here

2008-11-19T13:48:00.004+05:30

It's hardly been two weeks since Barack Obama's election as the 44th president of the United States, but the transition is already apparent. From George W Bush's malapropisms, which have famously come to be referred to as 'Bushisms', it's now Obama's turn to face the music by acerbic netizens. Obama-related humour is being updated online on an almost hourly basis as the term 'Obamaism' gradually gains prominence.

Behind the skinny guy with a funny name and an improbable life story, as he described himself, is a man just as prone to gaffes as his famous predecessor. Even before his official swearing-in ceremony, he's already opened his account in the dictionary of presidential bloopers.

The user-defined dictionary Urbandictionary has words like Obama baby (A child conceived after Obama was proclaimed President by way of celebratory sex), Obamanation (like abomination, the state of the country after he is elected president) and Obamaphile (A person with an incessant preference, sometimes sexual attachment to all people, things, or ideas related to Barack Obama). Of course, obamaphilia normally leads to the obamaphile having an obamagasm. But these are not the only ones. Thanks to a nation full of 'Barackheads' and 'Obamaniacs', the website has clocked hundreds of unique user-created definitions.

An online magazine, Slate, has gone a step further. Earlier this year, it launched Encyclopaedia Baracktannica, which keeps its patrons updated with the latest Obamaisms.

And Barack has done it himself too. Almost 5 months before the presidential election, he introduced his running mate, Joseph Biden, as the 'next President - the next vice-President of the United States of America'. Freudian slip? At a campaign event at Oregon, Obama told the crowd, "I've been in 57 states — I think one left to go". Incidentally, the Organization of the Islamic Conference has 57 member states. He was tired, his fans said, and dismissed the incident.

Even before he rose to international prominence and came to terms with its consequential pressures, he wasn't immune. The Associated Press reports that during a Kansas campaign, he said, "In case you missed it, this week, there was a tragedy in Kansas. Ten thousand people died, an entire town destroyed." The tragedy he spoke about was a spate of tornadoes that ripped Kansas in 2007. The actual death toll was 12.

In Amman, Jordan, on July 22 this year during the height of his campaign, he stated with absolute conviction that Israel was a friend of Israel's. "It (Israel) will be a strong friend of Israel's under a McCain..administration. It will be a strong friend of Israel's under an Obama administration."

But while Obamaisms are picking up, his predecessor is in no mood to let go. Commenting on the liquidity in the markets, George Bush said, "This thaw — took a while to thaw, it's going to take a while to unthaw".

"Obama's election is great for our country but bad for comedy", wrote Michael Musto, a columnist in an American daily. Bushisms may be hard to beat, but if the internet is anything to go by, Obamaisms are getting there.

Musical jargon decoded

2008-11-12T11:25:00.000+05:30

• A Flat - Cheap accomodation Goans in Mumbai look for.
• A Minor - Statutory rape. You know what I'm talking about.
• Alto - A singer who's afraid of heights / A Maruti car.
• B Flat – What a bee becomes after an elephant walks over it.
• Bach - The sound a dog makes.
• Bar - Place to buy a drink
• Baroque - Penniless Blue
• Note - Rs10 bill
• Cello – A pen
• Chopin - What you have to do with firewood/mutton
• Chorale - Place where horses hang out
• Chords - Little bits of string or rope
• Clarinet - Mr Net's daughter Clari
• Conductor – A qualified bus cleaner waving a stick at the orchestra
• Semi-conductor – A not-so-qualified bus cleaner doing the same…
• Crotchet - A type of needlework
• Cymbals - Little pictures that mean things
• Da Capo - A type of coffee
• Diatonic - A low fat drink
• Double bass – Johnny Cash’s voice.
• Fret - To get upset
• Guitar – The holy book of the hindus
• Bass Guitar - Holy book for only-just-Hindus
• Handel – What you pull to open the door.
• Lute - What Goan politicians are after.
• Lyre - George Bush.
• Major Key - A commander in the Chinese army
• Measure - Amount of alcohol Midi - A small glass of beer
• Mozart - Mosquito's paintings
• Opera - An American Talk Show Host
• Pitch - The black stuff they put on roads
• Quaver – What you get at the thought of listening to Himesh.
• Scale – What Edmund Hillary did to Mt Everest.
• Sharp - Pointy
• Sonata - Frank. . .'My way''
• Staff - A big stick
• Symphony - To feel sad for someone
• Triad – Brahma, Krishna, Indra
• Trombone - Attached to the thigh bone
• Trumpet – A rummy version of checkmate

A tribute to George Carlin, 1937-2008

2008-06-24T12:53:00.008+05:30

My depression on seeing Italy knocked out of Euro 2008 'deepens' as I realize with shock that I'll never be able to fulfill a lifelong dream of seeing this crazy maniac performing live. I've read and heard about what an overwhelming experience a George Carlin live show could be, and the realization that I'll never get to attend one is almost killing. This is my tribute to the greatest comedian of all time (I don't care what Russell Peters, Jeff Dunham or Pablo Francisco fans think) . Enjoy it... (Carlin would have said, enjoy it, but if you don't wanna, then f*** yourself)

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating...

- (attributed to) George Carlin

It was hardly eight months ago that, on this very same blog, I wrote a tribute to Maestro Luciano Pavarotti, a musical genius in every sense of the word, who loved what he did, brought a lot of heart to the heartless music industry, and most of all, tried in his limited capacity to make this world a better place. Now I talk about someone who wasn't that easy to love. Even so, George Carlin should be admired for his work as a comedian and for being one of the greatest linguists I, for one, have seen so far.

Of course, the most ironic part about George Carlin dying is that he would most probably hate the very idea of an unknown Indian admirer writing a tribute about him. Not that he was racist in any sense of the word, but let's just say that George didn't seem like the kind of guy who would appreciate tributes. Yet, I feel the need to, because of how often I find myself quoting him! Day after day, week after week, for sure not a month goes by without me quoting Carlin in some context or the other. My favorite Carlin quote?

"When someone is impatient and says, "I haven't got all day," I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?"

I misremember the number of times I've quoted Carlin's reply to the rather annoying statement that precedes it. Of course, there are some of his statements that are not funny, but make you think. "What if there were no hypothetical questions?" As well as philosophical statements, such as "I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it." In a video, he said that at the end of a conversation, he never did say goodbye. Instead he said, "May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house." There are a lot of people and websites who quote him for writing the Federal Communications Commissions rules on words you can't say on TV. The very fact that those seven words are immortalized throughout the world wide web means that George's impact goes beyond comedy clubs and movies.

George Carlin was born a Catholic, and he remained that way until he reached the age of reason. He grew up in Harlem in New York, the black culture capital of the world. And as a kid, he claims to have played in the Hudson river, a time when it was filled with raw sewage. He says, "At that time, the big fear was polio, thousands of kids died from polio, but in my area, no one ever got polio, no one. You know why? Because we swam in the Hudson river. We were tempered in raw shit." Surprisingly to some, Carlin was a member of the air force. He was also a disc jockey too before getting into mainstream comedy. He would perform in the Ed Sullivan Show and The Tonight Show.

Little later, the mainstream Carlin faded into oblivion, and the new Carlin emerged, the Carlin we would always remember. A Carlin who was angry with the evils of society and had no qualms admitting it. He defied the quintessential comedian look and dressed in faded jeans and grew his hair and goatee. In 1972, Carlin acquired world-wide fame for his 'seven dirty words' . Carlin hosted the first ever edition of Saturday Night Live.

In the next couple of decades, Carlin suffered heart-attacks, but would still come up with amazing live acts of astounding humour. (I'm aware of the double adjectives, but he deserves it). My personal Carlin favorite is his 'Jammin in New York' gig, where he talks about the War in the Persian gulf, little everyday things, and my all-time favorite, "Airline announcements". If you haven't seen it, stop reading this and go watch it now.

The first time I ever heard Carlin was a few years ago, when I was around 15. I later followed his art closely. I've seen almost all his specials on some video or the other. His command over the English language and its usage was second to none in his field. If I had posted previously in this blog that my biggest regret was not being able to personally meet Pavarotti, it's closely seconded by the fact that I will never see Carlin live.

On 6th Sept 2007, Luciano Pavarotti passed away. I cannot believe George Carlin is dead. My favorite singer and now my favorite comedian have died not even a year apart. I probably will be reminded of Carlin regularly since I have the habit of using his quotes in everyday dialogue (to people who would understand them, of course). I wish I had Carlin's linguistic skills, because this piece would have come out far better than what you're reading. Carlin swore a real lot in his shows, but swearing doesn't make you funny. It's Carlin's unusual gift of connecting and identifying with his fans that made him so popular among his audiences, which I must say have remained an exclusive set. No other comedian has any business being mentioned in the same breath as Carlin.

During the last few years, many famous people have died. I would know how wonderful Russert, Yasser Arafat, Syndey Pollack, etc would be to their fans and admirers. But for me, Pavarotti's and Carlin's deaths hit the most. If I said Carlin is smiling in heaven right now, it would probably be a lie, since Carlin didn't believe in Jesus Christ, and anyway, it would go against everything he believed (or rather didn't believe).

Thanks to the fear of aging in this country, as I grow older, I won't have to die! I'll pass away, or I'll expire, like a magazine subscription. If that happens at a hospital, they'll call it the terminal episode. The insurance company would call it 'negative patient care outcome', and if it was as a result of malpractice, they'd call it a therapeutic misadventure.
- George Carlin

So, Carlin is now dead, at age 71. No one will or can ever replace him. If anyone dared to try, he would be a cheap imitation of a comedic masterpiece. Summarizing his life and death is something I'm woefully unequipped to do. Only Carlin's words could possibly end this tribute.

"I wanna live. I don't wanna die. That's the whole meaning of life: Not dying! I figured that shit out by myself in the third grade."

RIP, George Carlin, and thanks for the laughs. Your memory lives on...

A tale of two murders

2008-03-16T17:29:00.000+05:30

On a day when the only Scarlet should have been the color of Jesus' robe, the newspapers have done it again.

Yes another day full of Scarlet-related front-page stories. I just happened to be reading the Hindu the other day. (For the unitiated, the Hindu is South India's best newspaper). I came across this.
http://www.hindu.com/2008/03/12/stories/2008031260521200.htm

"Tourist woman murdered in Goa"
A woman tourist from Gujarat was found strangled to death at a city hotel on Tuesday.

According to police, Hema Sodha (25) had on Sunday checked in, accompanied by her “husband” Jannat Sodha.

On Tuesday morning the hotel staff, finding that the couple had not checked out, opened the room with the master-key and saw the woman strangled in the bathroom.

Is this murder any less heinous than Scarlet's? Nope, I don't think so. But it hasn't made the headlines. Why?

1. This hotel in Panaji is owned by a prominent citizen who will lose business if these details are published. It is not a temporary shack which can change its name and continue next year under a pseudonym.

2. Gujarathis are Indian citizens. Gujarat doesn't have a High Commission or Consulate to promote their cause as a diplomatic move.

3. The Gujarathi community has not made any noise yet.

And Most Importantly,

There were no photographs of the victim in semi-nude attire made available, those which would hold viewer attention, and those which could be published on front page to sell our consumer-driven newspapers. ALso, there were no lurid details about sex, drugs, rape. All said and done, a 25 year old woman is not the same as a 15 year old girl. The 25 year old woman was not white, a race we Indians seem to have an obsession with.

The press coverage of the Scarlet Johannsen episode has been disappointing. The Navhind Times has been changing its statement everyday. Ditto with other newspapers.

How many remember Gregory Fernandes? The Goan sailor who was murdered in the UK. Did the British and Indian press take up the issue with such enthusiasm then? Nope. So why should we Goans care about all this irresponsible white thrash that comes here, openly flouts the law, develops their own absurd code of ethics, (Scarlet's mom reportedly had 8 children with 5 different men, and also slit the throat of one such man.) and finally manages to get herself/themselves killed? Is this the kind of tourism we are promoting?

And why is it so surprising? The British media has absurdly asked why Scarlett was not in school. Let's take a ride to Anjuna and see how many firangs there can spell school. The only word with c,h,o and l they know is alcohol. Amen.

Goa should seriously reconsider its tourism-promotion strategy. This is not the kind of tourism that makes a place famous. If you wanna come here and live on the wild side, you're gonna have to be prepared to meet the animals.

Go Goa, 365 days on a Holiday.

(Inputs from Miguel Braganza)

Announcement

2008-02-17T12:17:00.000+05:30

This was an announcement on IndiaTV that Bollywoon superstar Saif Ali Khan would be jamming with Delhi-based rock group Parikrama.

These are the actual words:
"Saif jaane-maane group PARIKRAMA ke saath milke mashoor pop bands jaise AC/DC aur DEEP PURPLE ke gaane bajayenge. Saif heavy metal instruments se ye gaane bajayenge !!"

*Sigh*

Well does life get any better
More yesterday than today
How I thought the sun would shine tomorrow
But it rained . . .

The most annoying songs of all time.

2008-02-05T13:59:00.002+05:30

The panel of experts: Andrea (left) and Nigel (right)

The most annoying songs of all time.
- List jointly compiled by Andrea Fernandes and Nigel Britto

So we keep grumbling about how annoying certain songs are, the tunes just stick in your head, make you wanna scream, induce suicidal tendencies, etc. Of course, you know what I'm talking about. So in the evening of 4th February 2008, two exceedingly bored individuals, Andrea and Nigel, decided to do a service to humanity, a kind never done before. We decided to create a list of the most annoying songs... EVER! The reason I stressed the word 'ever' is because nowadays, almost every song that comes out is just a bunch of random notes strung together in cacophonous disorder and chaos. But these songs normally come and go just as fast. The songs on this list are those that have been here for sometime now, as well as the most suicide inducing of modern musical marvels. If YOUR most annoying song is not here already, please leave it as a comment. In no particular order, here goes:

Soul Ja Boy - Crank that
Lyrics excerpt:
“Nope you can’t do it like me/ So don’t do it like me/ I seen you tryin’ to do it like me/ Man, that dance was ugly,”
(Sounds like a 3rd standard playground taunt)

Worse than Global Warming and twice as annoying. To me, the most annoying song of all time. Shameless self-promotion. He includes his name in his song's titles for those of us only read track listings. What a gentleman! In addition, he also has affixed an instructional dance to his megahit, keeping in tune with the tradition of preceding pieces of musical crap like Macarena, Ketchup song, and YMCA. Soul Ja boy lets us all know he ain't sexist, so he includes a track 'Soul Ja girl' in the same album. In conclusion, I must say that anyone who wears sunglasses with his name on the lens should be on this list.

Daddy Yankee - Gasolina
It's not rap. It's crap. One of the most annoying songs of the 21st century. Crap of course covers all the songs sung by the same people who did Gasolina, and alot more. A few months ago, if you hadn't to hear Gasolina atleast 6 times a day, you would seriously have to doubt the reality of your existence in a tangible world. Not to add, there are several versions of this crap. The kind of stuff you hear by people who wanna rap but can't speak English.

Britney Spears - Oops! I did it again
Just as an observation, the song's title backwards says "Niaga ti did I spoo", which speaks volumes. Of course, trust her to come out with more crap, to the future dismay of poor Sean Preston. And yea, she's stronger than yesterday. So what?

Lou Bega - Mambo no.5
The anthem of polygamy. The names of women mentioned in this song: Angela, Pamela, Sandra, Rita, Monica, Erica, Tina, Mary, Jessica. Lou Bega wants a little bit of each of them in his life. Unfortunately, commonsense and quality don't figure in his list.

Rednex - Cotton Eye Joe
To cut a long story short, Rednex has occupied the No.1 slot in Germany for more weeks than any other band in the last 25 years. This, my friend, tells of the sorry state of music today. In this 'song', one can hear harps, banjos, horrible lyrics, and even horses neighing. And the best part of it? Of course, the most horrible accent ever to be committed to tape.

Aqua - Barbie Girl
New marketing strategy. Take a childs toy, and turn it into a sexual fantasy. Kiss me here, touch me there. Interesting enough? Not quite. Set some lousy lyrics to an equally apalling tune and sell it to school kids who'll lap it up like they would hot pancakes. The song's worst line? When some 'rapper's' bassy voice says, "Come on Barbie, let's go party." If you've seen the video, ain't these people too old for this? Definitely, one of the worst things that happened in 1997.

Europe - The Final Countdown
The worst ever composition by this band, and after Adolf Hitler, the worst thing to have come from the continent. Andrea says, "You never know what to do when they play that song. You can't dance, can't sing, nothing." Well Andie, all you can do is wait for it to get over, which happens around 5 minutes after the coma-inducing beginning guitar lead commences.One more thing. Europe call themselves a 'glam metal' band. Go figure.

The Beatles - Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da
The chorus of the song goes"
"Obladi oblada life goes on bra
Lala how the life goes on
Obladi Oblada life goes on bra
Lala how the life goes on."

The writer of the Iliad and Odyssey (that would be Homer) would be inspired by these lyrics. With this song, the Beatles proved that they suck at two things. Laughing and Faking enjoyment. The unconvincing laughter in the final line says it all... "If you want some fun — heh-heh-heh-heh! — take ob-la-di-bla-da!”
Ok Beatles, thanks for your advice.

Meat Loaf - I would do anything for love
Lyrics excerpt:
"I would do anything for love, (but I won't do that)."
The song starts with the singer sounding constipated. The song is 12 minutes long, with every possible kind of arrangement jammed in. Pianos, choirs, duets, what not. The worst thing about the song is that it doesn't make much sense. Wouldn't do WHAT exactly, might I ask? Rock songs can be dumb, but not stupid.

Ricky Martin - She bangs
Lyrics excerpt:
"She looks like a flower but she stings like a bee/Like every girl in his-to-ry!” Hmmmm.

Andrea says, "The only sorta good thing that came outta this song was that American Idol dude's version of it. Did I say good thing ? My bad." Which, I guess, pretty much describes it. Meant as a follow up to a more illustrious song, 'La Vida Loca', it only proved that La Vida is not so Loca after all.

Billy Ray Cyrus - Achy Breaky Heart
Weird Al Yankovic says " Don't play that song, that Achy Breaky song, the most annoying song I know." I agree. Andrea doesn't. She actually likes this song. My friends, this is country, but country is not this. Surprisingly, the iconic Bruce Springsteen did a cover of this song. Of course, that doesn't make it good. Nothing can, and nothing will.

Britney Spears - Hit me baby one more time
Lyrics excerpt:
"I must confess (my loneliness) that my loneliness
(is killing me) is killing me now
(I must confess) dont you (I still believe) know I still believe
That you will be here (I lose my mind)
And give me a sign...
Hit me baby one more time!"

One of the most puke-inducing songs in history. If she sang that to me, I would oblige, and so would Andrea. Not just one more time though.

Myriad Artists - Seasons in the Sun
Andrea likes this song. I don't particularly hate it myself, but yes, it IS overplayed and oversung (or rather, over-attempted to be sung). Walk into any graduation/matriculation ceremony, and this is what you'll hear.

Michael Bolton - Can I Touch You There
Andrea says, "Hell No!! If some guy played this song for me, I’d get him arrested for sexual harassment!" This song should have been censored and banned. So gross!

Bryan Adams - The only thing that looks good on me is you
Andrea says, "No need to get anyone arrested for this song, a good hard punch should do the job."

Weird line: "There's only one thing that fits me like it should..." Hmmm. What's that, might I ask? And yes, when Bryan Adams tried doing sexy after a decade and a half of musical and lyrical celibacy, even his fans were surprised. There's one believable line in the song. "I don’t look good in no Armani suits” he sings, before suggesting he'd wear the song's protagonist instead. And what's more, this track is under no circumstances the weirdest song on the album. That award goes to a song called " (I wanna be) your underwear.

Eiffel 65 - Blue
"This is not a song", says Andrea. I agree. And so do you.

Crazy Frog - Axel F
Lyrics excerpt:
"A ring ding ding ding d-ding baa aramba baa baa barooumba
Wh-Wha-Whats going on-on
Ding ding
Lets do the crazy froogg
Ding ding
A Brem Brem
A ring ding ding ding ding
A Ring Ding Ding Dingdemgdemg
A ring ding ding ding ding
Ring ding
Baa-Baa"

More annoying than the song, actually, is the widely prevalent ringtone version. Yikes! Andie says, "If I see that frog I will kill it! ! Ok maybe I won’t". Oh my! Crazy Frog's confusion seems to have reached my dear friend as well. Isn't that reason enough to shoot down and obliterate the frog? Join the Anti-Frogger squad, NOW!

Paris Hilton - Stars are blind
The worst thing that happened in 2006. Thankfully, Paris seems to have given up her dreams of being a pop-star. Now we read that she's befriended the hapless Britney Spears. Advice to Britney! Now that you're no longer a girl, but a woman, keep Paris faaarrrr from the studios!
My cynicism in compensated by Andrea's views. "On the good side her music video is better than her other one *tsk tsk*"

Los Del Rio - Macarena

Del Tomato - Las Ketchuo

Two of the most annoying songs ever! A few years ago, everyone and anyone would be doing the Macarena and doin' that goofy Ketchup dance! I used to counter it with some good ole' Death Metal :D

Besides, everyone from infants to your grandfolks dance to it! Responsible for most of the suicidal ears!

Akon - Lonely
The child's voice in the beginning was cute, for about an hour when it was first aired on radio. After that? Not so! Even the rapper dude has a kinda squeaky voice that gives me a headache. That voice is very evident in 'Smack that', and it's not pleasant.That guy needs to realize that... Hmmm. Let it be. He's so damn repitative and annoying. What you guys who like Lonely need to realize is... Eh. Screw it. What kind of name of Akon anyway? It makes me think of acorns.

Backstreet Boys - Quit playing games with my heart
Just one of the many Backstreet Boys songs that never fail to annoy me! Listen closely, and you'll find that the beat is obviously a drumtrack/sample! Not to mention that the continous noise of the high-hats is soooo annoying!

Britney Spears - Not yet a woman
Lyrics excerpt:
"Im not a girl
Not yet a woman
All I need is time
A moment that is mine
While Im in between"

"This, of course was written when she was all virgin-esque", says Andrea. This song is not exactly bad, but is overplayed, hence qualifies as annoying!

Cheeky Girls - The Cheeky Song (Touch my bum)
The song goes like this:
"Ooh boys cheeky girls
Ooh girls cheeky boys
Ooh boys cheeky girls
Ooh girls cheeky boys
Ooh boys cheeky girls
Ooh girls cheeky boys
Ooh boys cheeky girls
Ooh girls cheeky boys

I never ever ask where do you go
I never ever ask what do you do
I never ever ask what’s in your mind
I never ever ask if you’ll be mine
Come and smile don’t be shy
Touch my bum this is life.

Oooooh

We are the cheeky girls
We are the cheeky girls
You are the cheeky boys
You are the cheeky boys
We are the cheeky girls
We are the cheeky girls
You are the cheeky boys
You are the cheeky boys"

I don't really need to say anything, do I? Most people in their senses will find this downright hilarious!

Black Eyed Peas - My Humps
Andrea says, "I thought Fergie was hot but then she goes and says something like this “I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk, Get you love drunk off my hump.”
As for me, this is one of the few songs that leaves me speechless (no, not in awe!)

Rihanna - Umbrella
There is a Facebook group called, "Tell Rihanna to shove her umbrella up her ella ella ella." But you know what? Andrea actually likes this song! Kooy Kooy Andie!!!
From the album Good Girl Gone Bad, this is not just a good girl gone bad, but a bad girl gone horrendously bonkers. Come to think of it, why do these singers go around with just one name? eg. Shakira, Rihanna, Sting, Prince. First of all they suck, and then they don't even have a last name so you can find out where they live and hurl bombs through their windows! Rihanna's voice is terrible enough, but is worse in this ummm... 'song'.

No Doubt - Hey Baby
Three cheers to Gwen Stefani. First Hey Baby, then Hollaback Girl. Out of the two, Hey Baby definitely takes the cake. It has got most annoying chorus ever, with just two words alternately repeated again and again, like a broken record.

Vengaboys - Sex on the beach
When I say anything about Vengaboys, my blood pressure rises. So I'll shut up for now.

Have we missed out any? Please leave comments.

Global Media - Ownership and Control

2008-01-27T23:05:00.000+05:30

The public's general lack of information that's crucial for proactive citizenship in a democratic setup can squarely be blamed on the current state of the media. What was once considered the 'fourth estate', the pillar of social change, has now degraded into a show of business, offering neither information nor entertainment, but a subtly lethal combination of both. The buzz word is infotainment. The media has now evolved into an ingenious multi-edged weapon that functions as nothing more than a public relations agency for wealthy and powerful multinational corporations, as well as politics and the administration. It's no longer a secret that the Fourth Estate is being selfishly utilized (thus destroying it's intended purpose) as a medium of suppression of what is intelligently perceived to be the truth, not to mention the explosion of self-interested propoganda. Unfortunately, this propaganda is psychological, and thus barely seen at face value.

Filled with twisted facts and a chaotic misrepresentation of reality, the media is now a business strategy. Widely used since it appeals to emotions rather than mere thoughts, we see people now obsessed with security, personal and community safety, terrorism, germs and whatever other abominations they're 'instructed' to feel strongly about. Hence, most people are now willing to trade a little of their freedom and personal liberty for that feeling, that 'illusion' of security. What we now have is a completely neurotic diaspora, obsessed with this, that and everything, which unfortunately could trigger various forms of mental insecurities, as well as forcefully indoctrinated views of the legitimacy of power-weilding autocrats.

The great American comedian George Carlin once remarked, 'Language, by and large, is a tool for concealing the truth'. While he might have intended it not as a joke but as an ironic musing, he receives powerful backing from Canadian author Jules Carlysle, who said "We are so cleverly manipulated and influenced by the media and establishments on both the right and left, that the truth has become hopelessly lost in semantics." While we might or might not agree word-to-word with what these influential minds think, we have to admit that what we watch, see, and hear is not what is really happening, but what the upper 1% want us to think is really happening.

In a recently concluded seminar on the Impact of Convergence Technology, which I happened to attend, Voice of America's South Asia Chief Mr. Steve Herman compared the dearth of relevant news to a transportation system devoid of vehicles. While that maybe a contradiction to the argument presented above, considering that VOA is a wing of the United Stated federal Govt, his statement bears significance while we're discussing control of the global media. The message he intended to convey can be interpreted as, although we have such a system of communication in place, which can be used for social reformation, something is lacking, and it's glaringly evident. It is indeed shocking to notice that the media influence on the public has reached such a limit that the public are no longer capable of independent critical thinking.

In addition to some of the ideas outlined above, we seem to be witnessing a paradigm shift in the organization of the mass media, not only in the developed nations but all around the world. This structural shift is bound to have major implications on the international social and political scenarios in the twenty-first century. We see, rather than independent networks of news agencies, a global media corporation has now emerged. While the defining term might be grossly inaccurate, we have seen the birth of a 'Global Media', which has emerged through global communication networks, science and technological advancements in relevant fields.

A prominent example of what we're discussing is News Corporation, founded by Rupert Murdoch. When I googled the words 'news corporation' the first search results bore this description. "News Corporation is a diversified entertainment company with operations in eight industry segments, including Filmed Entertainment; Television; Cable Network Programming; Direct Broadcast Satellite Television; Magazines and Inserts; Newspapers; Book Publishing, and Other." Interestingly, all these eight segments, come under the category of 'News'. Need I say a word more? I cited the example of Voice of America above. Their catch-phrase is "A trusted source of News and Information." It is a Government-controlled source of News.

Is this emerging phenomenon prevalent only on the international level? Let's analyze. The term 'global' could take a backseat as I mention our very own Goan Newspaper, the Navhind Times, self-proclaimedly 'The Newspaper you can trust'. This newspaper is owned by Goa's biggest corporate house, The Dempos. We can evidently and clearly see that this is a trend that's hear to stay. Coming back to Global, two more large media corporations are Viacom and Vivendi International. The size and ownership extents of Rupert Murdoch's media interests, though humongous, are not in the scope of this report.

Rupert Murdoch is not the only one. The term 'Media Consolidation' has recently come to light.' A brief explanation would be that the 'majority of the media outlets are owned by a small number of conglomerates and corporations'. Parent companies often merge their respective existing wings to have a larger audience under a single corporate umbrella. It would be fitting to mention a few examples here. Wikipedia says "The music and television industries recently witnessed cases of media consolidation, with Sony Music Entertainment's parent company merging their music division with Bertelsmann AG's BMG to form Sony BMG and TimeWarner's The WB and CBS Corp.'s UPN merging to form The CW. In the case of Sony BMG, there existed a "Big Five" (now "Big Four") of major record companies, while The CW's creation was an attempt to consolidate ratings and stand up to the "Big Four" of American network (terrestrial) television."

Large media conglomerates include Disney, National Amusements, Time Warner, Viacom, News Corp, Bertelsmann AG, Sony, General Electric, Vivendi SA and Lagardère Group. Movie production has been wholly controlled by a handful of companies since the beginning of the 20th Century. So has music and telefilm production, for the most part. Though corporates inadvertantly look at consolidation as a boon, it cannot definitely be said so for the general public. It is often seen as a problem for contemporary society. If media controls are concentrated with a few powerful corporations, a number of undesirable consequences would follow, the most obvious being there being an inadequacy of diverse voices and opinions in the media. Would these corporate giants broadcast stuff that's true, but is damaging to the reputation of its advertisers and other sources of revenue? For example, in 1997, the Fox affiliate in Tampa, Florida fired two reporters and suppressed a story they had produced about one of the Fox network's major advertisers, Monsanto, concerning the health effects of Bovine Growth Hormone (BGH). Fox took action after Monsanto threatened to sue over the story (Credit: Wikipedia).

To take another perspective, if the corporations dominating the media choose to suppress the stories that do not serve their interest, the public will obviously suffer, especially in cases where the issue is crucial to public reason and opinion. The question arises, if the mainstream media do not air this, who will?

In conclusion, whether we accept it or not, the Fourth estate is slowly losing its independance, an essential quality on which its very concept was initiated. Instances of Media consolidation and corporate ownerships may have been isolated in the past, but are now rampant and in future will be the norm. Not just corporations and private interests, but administrations too will soon use the media as a tool to suppress an incalcitrant population. The FCC (Federal Communications Commission) in the USA and its corresponding organizations round the world are controlling and will continue to stifle the media. In this game, the battle for our minds, the winners are the multi-billion corporations and governments. The losers? Guess who.

Seminar on Convergent Technology - Day-2 Report

2008-01-19T19:44:00.000+05:30

The two-day seminar on 'Convergence Technology and its impact on media' concluded at St.Xavier's College, Mapusa yesterday. Several mediapersons and contemporary academics presented their views of the media's rapidly changing role. The Chief Guest for the day was Ireland based film-director, Dr.Savio Sequeira. In the first session, a discussion on digital media and film-making moderated by Mr.Jonathan Josenhans, Dr.Sequeira presented a paper on The Impact of Digital Technology on Commercial and Independant Film Making. In his presentation, he compared the classic 35 mm film and the more modern digital film, stressing that ultimately what matters the most is what the audience perceives. He also outlined the technical differences between the two widely used film media.

He also analogized the transition of film media to the Vinyl-to-CD transition. Dr.Sequeira stressed that it is imperative that digital technology is employed as a means rather than the end. Mr.Samvarta, lecturer, MIC Manipal presented a paper on technology vs content, stressing that the language of cinema suggests how a film is perceived. Another MIC lecturer, Mr.Raviraj, presented a paper on gaming and virtual reality, concluding that it's becoming increasingly harder to differentiate between what is real and virtual.

Following the discussion was an animation session, conducted by Mr.Nachiket Wagh and Mr.Guru Vaidya, both of the Aditya Group, Mumbai. While Mr.Wagh gave a presentation of 3D-animation, he also briefed students on the Indian scenario and outsourcing trends. Mr.Vaidya conducted a live Maya demonstration which was well received by students.

A session on New Vistas in Broadcast technology was also held. The discussion was moderated by Ms.Clarinda Dias, lecturer, Dhempe's. KUNA Special Correspondent, Mr.Dipanjan Roy gave a brief overview of television. Ms.Sudha M.Philip, lecturer from WCC, Chennai gave a talk on the 'Breaking News effect in TV'.

Voice of America's South Asia Bureau Chief, Mr.Steve Herman spoke to budding journalists on what it is to be a reporter today. He maintained that technology has changed media completely, thus blurring the lines between the different media. He also warned students that in today's world of break-neck competition, careers can be made or broken in a matter of seconds. Taking a different perspective, Mr.Herman also said that the internet was a godsend in nations without free speech, where you could inform the world of inside happenings.

Gloria Khamkar, lecturer, Pune University, spoke about community radio. She asserted that alternative media is imperative in a world where not everyone has a right to express themselves. The last speaker for the day was Radio Indigo chief, Mr.Jeffrey Manual, who briefly traced the history of radio, providing a humorous insight into its changing stature. In response to a question, he also spoke about the avenues in the radio industry.

Ms.Elaine Andrade briefed the audience on the St.Xavier's community radio, and its plans for the future. The seminar ended with the valedictory function in which Prof.Newman, Principal, St.Xavier's College, shared the dais with organizers, Ms.Amita Fjeld and Ms.Vailarose Fernandes. Prof.Newman formally thanked the dignitaries, and provided a word of encouragement to the budding journalists present. Mr.Nikhil Pereira compered and Ms.Conchita Proence proposed the vote of thanks.

Seminar on Convergent Technology - Day-1 Report

2008-01-18T19:42:00.000+05:30

St.Xavier's College, Mapusa today kicked off its two-day seminar on Convergence Technology and its impact on media. The well-attended seminar saw speakers from diverse cultures and backgrounds present their views on the changing role of media today. The Chief Guest for the day was the President of St.Bernard University, Sao Paulo. Dr.Marcio Moraes, in his address, spoke about the progress in the communication industry, emphasizing on the digital revolution and its consequences.

The Keynote address was delivered by the South Asia Bureau Chief, Voice of America, Mr.Steve Burman. In his speech, he asserted that the issue of convergence technology and its impact on media is not a new one, but one that has been debated for almost a century. He cited examples of the telegraph and telephone, the inventions were also met with widespread skepticism by those with vested interests. He asserted that, in the new age of media, Content is King. Quality and quantity is vital for all fields.

He also said that in a fast world, delivering the goods in a timely fashion is imperative. He also commented on India's obsession with Bollywood and cricket, and noted that entertainment-based news is now prevalent, rather than that with political and social significance. He also compared the dearth of relevant news to a transportation system devoid of vehicles.

Following the keynote was a discussion on Digital technology in Journalism, moderated by GT editor, Mr.Derek Almeida. First to speak was Rediff editor, Mr.Prem Paniker. He maintained that convergence is a fact of life for journalists, and knowledge of the operation of relevant technology is essential. He also said to students that it is no longer enough just to report something, but find the best medium for doing so. He reiterated that a journalist has to work in multiple media , thus pushing the culture of divergence towards convergence. He also spoke about tactical journalism, where ties are forged with other media channels, for information sharing.

Ms.MS Sapna, lecturer, Mysore University, spoke about journalism as a medium for social change. She also spoke about the future of journalism and the scope and oppurtunites it would offer. Dipanjan Roy, Special Correspondent with KUNA said that journalists with multiple skills are highly valued in the industry.

The last session of the day was a discussion 'Lost in MySpace', moderated by Sunaparant chief, Mr. Sandesh Prabhudessai. Techie and cyber-journalism veteran Frederick Noronha presented a paper on Possibilities and Perils of the new media. In a well received address, he highlighted the importance of mailing lists as a medium to have ones views aired. He also explained the advantages on internet groups to the transferrance of knowledge from practitioners to people in the field. Sunil Bhadri, Lecturer at MIC, Manipal, also presented a paper on Public sphere and democracy in the age of the World wide web. Jagdish Kumar of TV Australia shared his experiences in the media as a journalist, and the last speaker was Mr.Oystien Krogsrud, freelance business journalist for the Economic Times, Norway's leading financial newspaper. He stressed that with the advent of the web, all info is available for everyone at a cost which is highly affordable to the middle class, and cited an example of a Swedish minister having to resign after a blogger exposed him. He also spoke about how the internet threatens revenues of newspapers, and said that the era of privacy is coming to an end, and there are potential paparazzi everywhere. Nikhil Pereira was the compere and Ms.Amita Fjeld proposed the vote of thanks.

Scenes from a memory. The Christmas Spirit carries on...

2007-12-25T17:12:00.000+05:30

A few years ago, most people would avoid going to the erstwhile Holy Family Chapel, many of them preferring the more flamboyant service at Don Bosco's, Panaji. Even today, we see many people ditching their parishes and flocking to these high-profile services, services that are amazing worship sessions, but attended by people attired more suitably for a fashion show than a Church. Few of the other places that are included in this category include Loyola's, Margao, and Raj Bhavan, Dona Paula. Don't get me wrong here. I love Loyola's and Don Bosco's, but detest the pseudo-spiritual approach that's rampant among people, and especially evident during the ramp-walk to receive what Catholics consider the Body of Christ. (Well, sometimes to illustrate a point, you have to generalize)

Considering the fact that I've finally managed to make acquaintance with a few of my fellow-Porvorim-ites, many of whom I (mistakenly) previously considered snobs, I ditched the usual Midnight service at the Holy Cross Chapel opposite my house for that at the newly elevated Church to which my Chapel is affiliated. My initial thought was to merely take a moonlit exterior overview of the Holy Family Church. I've been playing the outstanding catholic for years, not necessarily at midnight but at more convenient times of the day as well. Having left the house at 10:28pm, it took 3 minutes to complete the drive to Church. As I reached, I found myself bound by logic to enter, influenced maybe by the rare fact that I was well in time, or maybe subtle fear that I may be baked alive, not an unlikely possibility, taking into account my dark blue shirt, my black suit, as well as Global warming.

The Holy Family Church was well-illuminated and the newly asphalted parking lot was actually kinda bright. Justifiably so, because what could be worse than car-crashes inside the compound of the House of God on Christmas day? The corridors outside the Church were lined with Stars, walking past them being a nightmarish experience, strangely unfamiliar to my unobservant eyes. The Shephard was waiting outside as the flock came in, one by one, greeting and welcoming them. When I entered the great sanctuary, it was brightly lit, with the smiles of parishioners shining brighter than the electric lights above them. At 10:37pm, the Church was almost full, not unexpectedly, considering a quarter of the Church was 'reserved'.

The youth choir was barely setting up, with random sounds of 'check, check' emanating from the speakers, as well as choir members walking hurriedly around, obviously either busy or harrowed after a long day of work and preparation. But all apprehensive thoughts flew out of the open windows when I saw Jazz gurus Braz Gonsalves and Mr.President Savio Martires lined up on the Saxophone and Keyboard respectively, preparing to take Christmas for a long jazzy ride. And indeed when the, "Spiritual preparation to usher in the Birth of our Savior", started,all those who were previously sleepy seemed to jerk out of their dreamy trance and stared at the choir with attention that's normally associated with people taking a math exam.

The whole concept of 'Spiritual preparation' was a well-thought-out one indeed, with Blossom Rodrigues doing the compering, and doing it well, might I add.. The choir kicked off their hypnotic performance with the timeless carol, Do you see what I see. It was a memorable pre-mass service with the obviously well-trained choir dishing out hit after hit, all of them exceptionally well presented, voices and instruments in close-to-perfect harmony. The choral performance was only suspended for 5 minutes when Sonia Saigal sang a solo, taking the congregation by storm. (I've forgotten the name of the song). As the 'Spiritual preparation' proceeded, the voices in the choir just got better and better, with the perfect synchronization by the masters on keyboard and saxophone respectively only adding to the joy of the Season.

I guess enough of wordplay now. Straight to the point. The choir was sensational, and their focussed performance for almost 2 hours was nothing short of spellbinding. Personally, this is the best youth choir I've ever heard. Three cheers to Savio, Uncle Braz, Sergio, Sylvester, Joanne, Juanita, Genevieve, Louella, Vian, Gwyn, Irwin, Louis, Ryan, Russel, Raisa, Nadia and the others whose names I don't know/have forgotten. Seven priests con-celebrated the mass, 6 clad with gold and 1 with Silver. The pulpit was supplied by Fr.Tony Lopez, Superior General of the Pilar Fathers, who delivered a fiery and spirited homily about the superficial preparations for Christmas we all are used to. He focussed on the need for us to get the real picture, and subtly put across the pertinent question whether do we know or not whom Christmas is all about. He spoke at length about and almost questioned the significance of decorations, sweets and dances, if our personal spiritual preparations are not in place. Offertory was fairly strange, with the items that were offered ranging right from Stars to Christmas sweets. A woolen shawl was also offered, and the announcer said, "On this cold December night....." An inconvenient truth is that December is no longer as cold as it used to be. Don't believe me? Ask Al Gore. Or Dr.Rajendra Pachauri.

Communinion took a reasonably long time, considering the fact that the congregation was a microcosm of the population in India.

Suddenly, the lights were failing. There was a procession. It was getting dark. There were eerie chords being played. It was getting dark. There was incense. It was getting darker. There were many more candles than we normally saw at church. Light failed. Darkness reigned. A line of people walked in, holding the candles. At first they looked like members of the Bohemian club, but turned out to be members of the Parish Youth, and a few others who joined the candlelight ceremony. They went and stood at the altar, with the candles, as the Saxophonist played the introduction of my all time favorite carol, O Holy Night. The introduction gave way to a duet by Sergio and Sylvester. Soon, a third voice joined the harmony. Don't really know who sang what part since 12 candles seemed insufficient to see what was happening. The song was beautifully done. The stars were, indeed, brightly shining.

Then the lights came on again.

Before the final blessing, the Parish Priest came up and thanked all the people who helped in making this mass a success. And he also advised the congregation to fellowship with one another before going home. Some Cafes sponsored the coffee and cake. A politician sponsored the crib, which made me think of the irony.

The choir concluded the mass by singing Joy to the World. That was the end of one of the best Midnight services I have been for .

After mass, there was chaos. The chaos that is inevitable when around a thousand people decide to wish one another simultaneously! Oh the probabilities involved would be a mathematicians delight.

Everyone hung around for a bit, although whether that was voluntary or they were just following Fr.Anand's instructions, I do not know :-)

Then I went home...

Disclaimer: This is just a personal account of the midnight service. If there are any discrepancies, they are unintentional. If you have differences with my opinions, it's ok, because the Consitution guarantees my freedom of expression, and your freedom of thought and speech. Merry Christmas everyone. Another disclaimer: I have nothing against Don Bosco's and Loyola's. Many priests from those societies are indeed the best preachers. My only grudge is the kinda people that frequent those places. But then, I guess Jesus died for all. Have a blessed and Christ-filled CHRIST-mas, and if you read this after the 25th, Compliments of the Season.

A personal tribute to Luciano Pavarotti...

2007-09-13T19:18:00.000+05:30

The greatest Operatic tenor of our generation was a gentleman of rare talent as well as a man who did his best to make the world a better place. With a powerful voice touched by the divine, he was the first man to take opera to the masses, and indeed the first tenor to capture the public imagination.

Even though toward the end his voice had lost some of the power, it was still extremely powerful and incomparable to anyone else's. You didn't need to be a fan of the genre to understand Pavarotti. You just needed to be a human being with a heart, and that's all it took for the voice of Luciano Pavarotti to carry you away.

Even during his performance at the Winter Olympics 2006 at Torino, he put aside his cancer and poured his heart and soul into his trademark song, Nessun Dorma. The passion and intensity on his face spoke for itself. His mind-boggling performance at age 71 prompted the NBC commentator to say, "And the Master brings the house down." The great tenor's performance received the loudest and the longest ovation of the evening. Little did anyone know that that magical performance would be the last time the great Luciano Pavarotti would be performing in this world before he moved on.

On a personal note, Pavarotti's was the only operatic voice that appealed to me. It was my dream to *someday* play the guitar for him, a dream that was shattered after his death. Though his colleague tenors Placido Domingo and Jose Carreras have more than competent voices, Pavarotti will remain the man who got people interested in opera that they listened to it and appreciated it, and would definitely rate as my favorite Opera singer.

It is awful to think that he has gone forever from this world. Yet the Maestro lives in our hearts as he joins the choir of angels as they sing their unending hymns of Praise to the master of all Music, and we should thank God that he gave us the chance to listen to his most amazing musical creation for the time He did.

RIP Maestro. Your memory lives on...

The art of addressing

2007-07-19T15:21:00.000+05:30

One of the many things I haven't mastered in my 20 years and 4 months of existence on this planet is the art of addressing people. For instance, I still call any older man or woman I've never met Uncle or Aunty respectively. I don't know why! Fact is I hate that form of greeting as much as you do. Even now, if I walked into an interview room, I would most probably be clueless as to how I should address the interview panel. When I was younger, I once mistakenly referred to a boy and a girl as a chedo and a chedie.

More annoying than that is the 'formal' addressing system. For instance, Your Majesty, your Grace, etc. Why does each respectable profession have its' own formal address system? It's quite absurd. For instance, a Bishop is called your Grace, or your excellency. Excellency is a title shared by a Governor in a Federation. Hence, when a Bishop dies, Amazing Grace is almost a certain last song.
A Cardinal is called your eminence, or your highness. An interesting note about addressing a Cardinal would be, say for instance, if I became a Carnidal, it would be incorrect to say, Cardinal Nigel Britto. The appropriate form would be Nigel Cardinal Britto, the word Cardinal replacing my middle name, Fernando. Another way of adressing a Cardinal is "Your Lordship". Interestingly, Judicial officers also enjoy the same title. In a courtroom, a Judge would expect to be addressed like that. A Patriarch is addressed as "Your beatitude". Now this is really stupid. I always thought Beatitudes were those statements preachers fire from the pulpits.. "Blessed are those who ____ for the Kingdom of God is theirs. " Right?

Finally we come to the Pope. The Pope is one guy who never fails to amuse me. Pope John Paul II was cool, but the present guy has a glint in his eye I don't like. His smile too seems forced. It doesn't help that he's a German, a race against whom I have a certain prejudice, and not without reason, knowing their cruelty and hedonistic nature (I'm not only referring to Adolf Hitler). The Pope is normally referred to as "His Holiness". Well. No comments on that. The Pope's title is also shared by the Dalai Lama.

An inference after examining these cases would be that the titles these people expect are not always appropriate. For instance, if a priest is called Father, a Bishop, Grace, a Cardinal, eminence/lordship/highness, and the Pope, Holiness, where does that leave God? The truth is that all these people in the Church Hierachy have assumed all the qualities of God and left him title-less. This is a Conspiracy! What do we call God..? Mostly, Father, right? Is it justified of us to call the Boss Father and all the people who claim to be His subordinates all those fancy titles? I think NOT!!!

To make things easier, I suggest some changes. I would call people according to what their title is, not what they want to be called.
Here goes. Any suggestions, please leave your comments.

First the Church:-
God - Your Holiness the Most Gracious and Eminent Heavenly Father.
Priest - Father would be ok, or Msgr would also be appropriate.
Bishop - Your Bishopness, or your diagonality (Taking hint from the chess board). Since he lives in the "Bishop's Palace", your Majesty would be ok but undeserved.
Cardinal - Your Cardinality, Your moderate holiness.
Pope - Your Popeness/ Your Papacity / Your Papalness. And these should be general. As in, if the Pope is really fat, it should be referred to as a Papal Paunch. If he likes pets, his dog would be a papal dog, and if he likes Dhirios, he would have his army of Papal Bulls. (Pun intended). Vatican is already called a Papal state, so my suggestion is not as dumb as they normally are...

Now the Government:-
President - Your Presidency... If Pratiba becomes President, your Rashtra patni-ship.
Prime Minister - Hmmmm
Minister - Your dishonesty
Goan Minister - Your disgraceful dishonesty
Goan Congress Minister - Your utterly disgusting disgracegul dishonesty
Governor - Your governance/ Your bekarness (As u know, the Governor doesnt have much to do in our system... )
Anymore...? Please comment.

A Tribute to Krishna's drumkit...

2007-06-17T16:46:00.000+05:30

On 3^rd May 2007, Krishna showed up his drumkit at my house cause we were supposed to jam. We took around 3 hours to set it up (Because of lack of technical knowledge) and ended up tele-conferencing with illustrious drummers of the land cause we didn’t know which screw went where. But to Krishna’s credit he finally set it up. Then Mark Rocha came along. We were supposed to have our first jam. But the guitarist sucked (Guess who!) and it ended in a farce. The remaining jam sessions that were to be during the holidays didn’t happen, cause one person was busy with exams, then training himself to communicate, one was having his 12^th Std exams and thereafter went to Mumbai, one preferred wasting time and ended up in Kashmir, and one went all the way to Europe to visit his former colonial masters.

So the drumkit was lying there, lonely and forgotten, so I decided to make some noise. I just banged the kit randomly. (Banged as in hit with force) My neighbors all hated me, my mom told me I sound desperate, and my maid said I should be going with the JVs for Shigmo. Everyone else who saw me had some negative comments or the other.

The first song I mastered was Evanescence’s My Immortal (Album Version) and a number of other docile songs which had no drumming part. All you have to do during those songs is sit and either look at the drumkit in fascination or look at the gecko lizards on the wall with even greater fascination. After sometime, I learnt how to play Faithful, by Lobo. (That’s the song that makes the Bride and Groom romantic for any goan wedding. Then they start dancing with the grace of injured wilderbeasts on the Serengeti plains). The next song I learnt was Am I that easy to forget, by Jim Reeves. And then O Holy Night.

Then I came to know that those hollow things were called Toms. I knew of course that the big tub down there was the bassdrum. Then I read that the Bigger of the two plates which make a loud clanging noise is called a Ride. And the one which makes a slightly less annoying sound is the crash. The lowest of these things are called High Hats. I also noticed that there was a pillow inside the bassdrum. I wondered which deaf a**hole would fall asleep inside the noisiest component of Krishna’s drumkit.

This is a video I recorded just for kicks (Cause I was bored when the book I was reading got over). I kept the camera on top of a tall cupboard, and while jumping off the chair, I tripped. That explains the delay in the start of the video. The first person to see this video was Desiree, who said I looked like a drunkard controlled by puppet strings. The second was Siobhan who said I looked like a small boy trying to play LP (Yuck!!!). The third was Andre who tried his flattery and then said brb as he went off line to have a hearty laugh. And then the drummer of Bhayanak Maut (India’s best thrash metal band). All he said was. Nice drumkit.

Here goes… I need some more insults. The comments option is open to you…

Randomness...

2007-05-02T23:27:00.000+05:30

A stitch in time saves nine. The person who coined that phrase evidently had less brains than he thought he did. What does it mean? It sounds pretty incomplete to me. A stitch in time saves nine what? Even if the phrase was meant to rhyme, time and nine do not rhyme. The main thing about rhyming is that the pronunciation of the last syllable should be the same. A stitch in time saving nine is a stupid idea, needs to be completely rethought.
Another lousy quote. He wants to have his cake and eat it too. Now this is really stupid. What is the point of having a cake if you can't eat it?

Is Mahatma Gandhi's brother, Laxmidas Gandhi, the Uncle of the Nation? Another one, if you're an atheist, what do they give you to swear upon in Court. In any case, why do they tell you to swear on a Holy Book..? If your planning on lying, are you likely to tell them so?

Evolutionary Bullshit...

2007-04-03T08:00:00.000+05:30

Hey I just thought of something while... ummm... Studying...

If human beings evolved from Monkeys and Apes, how come Monkeys and Apes still exist?

Poor Darwin must have been so busy with his hi-fi theories that he apparently forgot about it...

Out of the World Cup...

2007-03-28T06:58:00.000+05:30

When I kept saying GO INDIA!!! I didn't mean out of the World Cup. I guess the players and management misunderstood our cheers. Of course if everyone in the BCCI is as dumb as its Vice-President from Goa, we can't blame them. So after all the analysis and discussions on all the various TV channels and Magazines, our beloved 'Team India' was knocked out of the World Cup by it's neighbors Sri Lanka and Bangladesh, both of which when combined area-wise would fit into any Indian state they chose. First of all, who came up with the name, 'Team India'? If a group of players is playing Cricket, it's got to be a team right. You don't have to say mention the obvious.

So we lose to Bangladesh. How lame can our adored team get. Bangladesh's spirit on the field was much better then the Indians'. And then we beat Bermuda, a team comprising Primary school teachers, Policemen and Chartered Accountants. Bermuda's total population is 70,000, out of whom 10000 are migrants. So the entire Bermudan population would fit into the Eden Gardens Stadium at Kolkata, with plenty of room for another 30000 people, the probable population of a country India would next be able to beat. For the uninformed, India's population is 1.2 Billion, for those who prefer numbers, 12000000000. And we beat a team whose population is smaller than the Tiswadi Taluka of Goa state and are proud of it, So proud, that we next meet a country marginally bigger and lose miserably.

After all the discussions and analysis and post-mortems about why India did so badly in the World Cup, I think I got the answer. Because we played badly...

The SMS quizzes on TV never fail to amaze me. It's ok when they ask you who will win the match. a. for India and b. for Sri Lanka. But then the questions keep changing, like How much do you think will India score, or How much do you think that Uthappa will score, less than 40, more than 40, more than 50. What the deuce!

At 1:30 am, when India were 152/7 chasing 255, the question was, Can India still win? That question just about made me happy that India were being knocked out, I wouldn't have to read those lame questions for sometime now...

P.S: Soon after the World Cup, India are playing Bangladesh in India... And guess what. India are looking at that series as a revenge series and a way to settle scores...

Team India Rocks... The officials suck..!!! Get all these political imbeciles out of the BCCI and watch 'Team India' win trophy after trophy...

One of the BCCI Vice-Presidents, Dayanand Narvekar, is even using the Indian teams ouster for his publicity. How cheap can these people get?

Cricket Fever 2007...

2007-03-18T01:02:00.000+05:30

As usual, no introduction and straight to the point. This entry focuses on some of the things that are pissing me off with regard to the Cricket World Cup.

Firstly, Ricky Ponting. Enough of his goofy rabbit smiles everytimes he says something. You do NOT need to smile after every statement you make. Sunil Gavaskar was absolutely right to point out Ricky's shortcomings. But instead of graciously accepting his faults, he decides to act like a total idiot, in analogy with some of the other people who are too fat-headed to accept their faults, whom we only know too well.

Secondly, these people on television who, for one month before the Word Cup started, were discussing India's prospects with people who were getting less distinguished by the day. What's the point in holding discussions? What difference does it make? Yea everyone said India is winning the World Cup. But as I write this, India are struggling against Bangladesh, a country only marginally smaller than India's largest state.

Thirdly, advertisers who come up with these weird quizzes on TV regarding the World Cup. Predict who's gonna win seems pretty reasonable to me. But then they start asking, Will India beat Pakistan.? Well Mr.Oracle, how do you know that India will meet Pakistan in the World Cup. India and Pakistan, with their huge populations with even huger expectations, are right now struggling against B'Desh and Ireland respectively, teams composed by students who got thrown out of school and looked for another means of livelyhood.!

Fourthly, Inzamam-Ul-Haq, saying Inshallah everytime he goes for the presentation ceremony. Why can't people keep religion out of sports? And yea why do people get cars and bikes as Man of the Match/Series..?? It's cycles these people need. We gotta act fast, before obesity enters the realms of cricket...

By far the most irritating people associated with cricket ever. Hindi commentators. Final. No competition. Hindi commentators. I don't really understand why these croakers with double digit IQ's are droning on how cricket is being played, when most of them haven't even held a bat, that too in Hinglish, cause every second word a Hindi commentator uses is English.

Some of the most heard phrases on National TV;

Behthereen shot; Shot is obviously english. Even Behthereen sounds like a sort of superlative of Better.

York Karane ki koshish: York. If you don't know the hindi word for that, why are you saying it?

Achcha shot magar fielder Mavjhood; Here every alternate word is English. A literal translation would be, good shot, but there's a fielder. How is it a good shot, if it's straight to the fielder. First of all your language sucks, then you're technically screwing up on terminology too. Suckers!

Cup-thaan Rahul Dravid; Capthaan!!! Why try to make Captain sound Indian now? If you were comfortable with using English words so long, why not either use a Hindi or English word, instead of trying to combine the two..? Your accent is bad enough. No need to make it more obvious. Another non-cricket example: Daaktar, for Doctor... WTD???

Accha over. Maiden over.; Here three words out of the four are English. Is the Hindi in the Hindi commentary getting just a little scarce??????

Posers

2007-03-16T01:07:00.000+05:30

As you walk down the street, you'll meet a lot of stupid people. Imagine how stupid the average person is. Then realize that half of them are stupider than that. I love analyzing the attitudes of rockstar posers, who think that wearing a band t-shirt would automatically convert them to being genuine rockers. How many times have you seen that goth or emo looking boy or girl, desperate to identify his or her own individuality, roaming around in a Nirvana t-shirt. (The band, not the brand.) Chances are that person doesn't know how many members Nirvana had, and what's more, doesn't even know to spell Kurt Cobain. The atrocious spellings I've heard of the name 'Cobain' would just make the Late Kurt happy he shot himself. And of course, if you ask them to name tracks, they'll name for you Smells like teen Spirit, Rape me, Drain you, Lithium and thats it. So they are 'hardcore' Nirvana fans who know the names of just 4 songs by the band they worship.

Another band who's followers are a bunch of imbeciles is Metallica, the most over-rated band in history. When I was 13, I first heard Nothing else matters, and after that, grew out of their monotonous style, only occasionally listening to a few tracks during the years since. The Metallica supporters will wear a Metallica t-shirt and swear to you that Kirk Hammett is god, without knowing how many m's and t's are there in Hammett. And of course how could I forget Guns n' Roses fans who, in their tiny world of delusions, believe that Slash is the greatest guitarist of all time? Thats like being a Zimbabwe cricket fan and believing that Brighton Matamba is better that Sachin Tendulkar. I guess that's what Einstein meant when he spoke about relativity.

Now to generalize beyond just targetting specific bands, I do not understand why brown people, like us Indians, grow long hair when it doesn't suit you, or shave their heads completely bald. Bald heads look good on blacks, and long hair on whites. Being both bald and long and wrong haired as a brown person is ugly, repulsive and disgusting. If you do not have hair to flaunt, don't grow it. In contrast, if you do have hair to flaunt, which can be kept in place without pouring a litre of oil on it every morning, grow it. If not, keep it short and decent. Your love for rock is in your heart and not in your hair. Another of these poser traits is to wear these weird earrings along with the long hair. They probably don't have enough holes in their body so they want one more, with a piece of metal in it. And then of course there are guys who'll go clubbing, get high on weed, dance to trance, and get out of the club and proclaim himself to be an Iron Maiden or Sepultura fan. SACRILEGE. There are two words for you. Pretentious megalomaniac. I guess this is what all this big wannabe macho male attitude strutting around discharging the f-word at every nook and cranny is all about. It's called fear of identity. If you're looking at Rock to give you an identity, go someplace else. being a rock fan enhances your identity, it doesn't create one for you...

Rock and Metal in India...

2007-03-10T23:29:00.000+05:30

This would be an interesting concept to read on for any genuine Rock fan in India. Actually I chose this topic only because I was totally bored of life, and I just finished listening to a song called I'm not okay, by My Chemical Romance, which is a pretty lame song really. Typical teen aggression, which most of the new age bands sing about... Lets start off with the sudden spurt of International acts coming over to India to play their stuff. Right from the Rolling Stones, Deep Purple, Bryan Adams (Yea he's rock), Roger Waters (Pink Floyd), Joe Satriani, and now Iron Maiden, Sepultura and Aerosmith, I can proudly say that Indian rock is finally coming of age. Thats because among the bands mentioned above which have already played, the youngest guys are Joe Satriani and Bryan Adams, almost touching their 50's.

Rolling Stones are the aging rockers who look like they could collapse anytime, specially Mick Jagger. Pink Floyd is a boring bunch of people who should be heard and not seen. And Deep Purple, the less said about them the better. Imagine sitting through 3 hours of hard rock bullshit just to listen to Smoke on the Water, which is turning out to be the most annoying rock song of all time. And what about Bryan Adams? For how long will these imbecile chicks want to go up on stage with him and sing Baby when you're gone? Summer of '69 joins Smoke on the Water and Knocking on heaven's door as the most annoying songs of all time...

Then we come to Iron Maiden, one of the greatest Rock bands of all time... They even got a pic of Eddie playing cricket on their ticket. (Geez that rhymes..!!!) And we wonderful Indians arrange for a Nu-Metal band to open for them, a band called FTN (F*** The Name) from Delhi. What will the gods of metal think of us Indians when they see those sad jackasses playing like constipated porcupines? Next we come to SEPULTURA, one of the two bands, along with Slayer, I used to be obsessed about. That show would be pretty interesting. Indian youth trying to beat the shit outta their heads in order to impress Cavalera and gang...

Heard Guns n'Roses planning to come down. They shouldn't. They should stay put wherever they are and Axl Rose should go for singing classes. Cause his voice has badly deteriorated. And then we come to Aerosmith... I like this band so I won't comment on it. But I should say that the wrinkles on Steve Tyler's face should tell the story...

Stray thoughts...

2007-03-06T14:58:00.000+05:30

As I sat at my desk, hoping to study, even staring at my Networking textbook, as boredom seeped into my miserable brain, and my mind wandered...... About the little things in life... Why do people play Holi? What pleasure do they get by looking like badly designed Paintbrush or Photoshop pages? Come to think of it, how do graphic designers play Holi, do they open paintbrush and mess around with colors? Why is Holi spelt with an 'i'? Why is Dancing a waste of time to people who don't dance? Why is it that when your MSN status is set to busy, you don't get a sign-in alert. But when you're appearing away or offline, you do? Maybe I'm not supposed to understand the logic behind that. Would an air-hostess still smile if someone slaps them in the face?

Why do people straighten their hair? What difference does it make? Why can't they spend the same money and time doing something more constructive? Why do people on social networking sites say what's going on in their life as part of their name? Why do doctors call what they do practise? Why do surgeons always wear the same thing? If pass away and expire mean the same thing, to magazine subscriptions and medications pass away?

Why do we refer to old people as senior citizens but not refer to the youth as junior citizens? Why can't there be some consistency? Why are rape victims always female even in this age of sexual equality? Ever noticed that Caterpillars have so many legs but absolutely no knees? If a UPS fails, does it cease to be a UPS? Why do computer keyboards have the set of integers twice? Who first thought of Ctrl-Alt-Del? In the Hips don'y lie video, why does Wyclef say, I can see your body move? Isn't it obvious? Why are people so scared to stand up to the truth?

Then my mom knocks at my door and my thought process is interrupted... And I'm brought back down to earth, with my eyes fixed on Switching and Multiplexing in the physical layer of the OSI reference model in Computer Networks by Andrew Tanenbaum...

A tribute...

2007-03-05T17:02:00.000+05:30

A tribute to St.Xavier's College, Goa This a video recording of me in the college campus playing Mary did you know. We weren't allowed to play a farewell song by the organisers so I consoled myself with this piece...

Goes out to all my friends and teachers who made a difference... Too many friends to name but I'll name a few teachers here.. Sir Kanekar, Sir Ryan, Sir Edwin, even the teachers who never taught me, Ms.Marina, Principal, Ms. Sarah, Sir Cajetan, everyone who left a mark on my life in the smallest of ways...

So this is dedicated to the spirit of St.Xavier's...

Road Retards..

2007-03-04T01:57:00.001+05:30

This piece bears a refreshing change from all the rather morose stuff you've read so far. This takes an honest and critical look at the conditions of young road-maniacs in Goa. In other words, this is an attempt to be funny.

Anyone riding slower than you is an idiot and anyone riding faster than you is a maniac. Let's start with the maniacs. They ride bent forward at 120kmph and zoom through traffic like they're on their way to shit. I see a lot of these jokers on the Xavier's slope in Mapusa and the Dhempe's road in Miramar. Talk about Attention Deficit Disorder.

Another group of people who should be hung upside down from a banyan tree and swung vigorously back and forth. People, who while crossing the road look the other side and continue walking across as though not looking at the approaching vehicles would make the vehicles disappear. A bit like an Ostrich who puts his head in the sand and think because he can't see his attacker, the attacker can't see him. Scientists and evolutionists claim that we're superior than birds.

Yet another group of people who should be tied to a Cactus and shot in the asshole with a dart-gun and then be made to recuperate in a prison cell filled with the rhinophonic melodies of Himesh Reshammiya. People who ride bikes and suddenly apply brakes and stop. Wow. What an amazing mechanism is that? It defies the law of Inertia! Unfortunately, all bikes have that mechanism, and it doesn't make you special, unless you like to sound like a constipated rat on steroids who suddenly discovered he has absolutely no shoulders.
A third group of retarded imbeciles who should be made to live in a shed with mad buffaloes. People who put Ferrari logos on their Marutis. Does putting a new logo change the car? I believe, technically speaking, that it is copyright infringement. I've even seen a Pulsar with a Hayabusa sticker. Defintiely male, indeed.

Another group of people who ought to have been at the World Trade Centre on 11th September, 2001. Owners of cars who put single digit numbers on their licence plate. Anything particularly wrong in putting all four numbers? And car owners who pay the RTO to have the number 007 on their car. Do they really fool themselves into thinking that we believe that James Bond drives that car? James Bond drives an Aston Marin, not a Hyundai Santro.

The last group of people who ought to be asked to continue this series of complaints. These people, by far, are the most annoying. People who put lame, stupid, goofy graphics on their bikes and think they're cool. Putting some shining stickers of various bullshit shapes does not make the bike better in any aspect. The craze for using graphics on bikes, specially Dios is getting to me. I find nothing wrong in the basic design of a Bike that you have to put some lame graphics to make the bike a bit more noticeable. Again, Attention seeking losers. And the height is when they look at their graphical-ized bike and say. This is my baby.. Ain't she hot...?? Before these genteel words turn into a barrage of insults, I'll stop. A piece of parting advice. Die for a cause you believe in, not for lack of a helmet.

Bionic Chip and Mind Control - Social and religious implications...

2007-02-11T20:40:00.000+05:30

It's the size of a grain of rice. An implantable chip, being developed by the D.A.R.P.A would make it possible to control the feelings of all humans on earth with the click of a button. Emotions, pleasure and pain can be controlled and even caused with this technological wonder, which is scientifically called MMEA (Multiple Micro Electrode Array). Its uses a BMI (Brain Machine Interface) to connect the human brain to a computer. This chip will be inserted into a specific part of a human nerve or the brain. The chip, which has 100 electrodes, has already been proven to be able to detect as well as send electrical signals to the nervous system, using Radio Frequency. Tests are now being carried out to determine the exact electrical frequency of a wide variety of human emotions. By intercepting each emotion's unique frequency, the data is thereafter stored in the BMI's software. At some future point, an RF transmitter may send a signal that would give the person pleasure or pain, with the frequency coming from the BMI.

If we have a device implanted into a specific area of our nervous system which has the ability to detect these electrical patterns and then transmit to a computer, it would be able to analyze what frequency signal makes us say move our hand up and down. Such data could then be even transmitted to another person, reducing humans to remote-controlled robots. Right now, Monkeys in a laboratory can control the movement of a robotic arm using only their thoughts. And last year scientists in New York announced they could control the skittering motions of a rat by implanting electrodes in its brain, steering it around the lab floor as if it were a radio-controlled toy car. It does not take much imagination to see in this the makings of a 'Matrix'-like cyberpunk dystopia: chips that impose false memories, machines that scan for wayward thoughts, cognitively augmented government security forces that impose a ruthless order on a recalcitrant population.

What government wouldn't want the ability to tranquilize an entire city during a Riot, or better yet keep all of its citizens content or happy by continually feeding them prerecorded emotions! And the fact is that this technology is being funded by the Govt. of U.S.A's department of defense, and when its ready, every human being on the planet would have his or her thoughts, emotions and feelings tracked by the government.

An interesting and potentially dangerous by-product of MMEA technology would be the fulfillment of Biblical prophecy which talks about a tyrant, biblically called "the beast', who will come to power in the last days, and attempt to control the world. Revelations 13:16-17 in the Bible states "And he causeth all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and bond, to receive a mark in their right hand, or in their foreheads: And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name."

It doesn't require the mind of a Rocket Scientist to link Biblical Prophecy and the MMEA Technology. After all, who knows, this might just be the final straw in the never-ending debate between Religion and Science.

Cultural Programme - Insights

2007-01-30T01:44:00.000+05:30

The Porvorim Parish feast, held on 29th Jan every year, commemorated the Holy Family...
Really how pleased would the Holy Family be with the way the parish held the cultural programme, I do not know... The Cultural programme on the evening of the feast was a pretty far cry from anything cultural...

I'll start with the sound system... It SUCKED... It was pathetic to say the least... It spoilt almost all the items, none of which had anything remotely to do with a Church (House of God)... There were songs, dances, skits, fashion shows, etc... In three hours, I did NOT hear a single Gospel song... If a Church does not encourage Gospel music, I wonder what does... What would be so terrible if the youth had sang a few Gospel songs instead of Botate dances and Fashion show.. I ain't saying that it was bad.. The items were great, but not fit for a Church programme...

For eg... Where's the connection between a Church and a Fashion show...??? I hardly remember Jesus judging people according to what they wore... And in today's age of impressionable young minds, how wise was it for a House of God to put up a fashion show..??? And the MC announced the fashion show as "the item we are all waiting to see"... What were we waiting to see...??? I'm not being Orthodox but I feel the Church should seriously take a look at what items they present for a cultural programme... A fashion show, or a dance to secular music, is not what the holy Family would want to see on a day people are supposed to be remembering them... And now don't mix up dance with David's dance... David danced to the Lord, not to Sean Paul and Shakira... And some other lousy beats...

The Church would do well to start promoting Christian values and Christian music as a form of entertainment... If people want Secular entertainment, they could go to Inox or some other similar place... The Church needs to take a stand, before it's too late... The Church canNOT afford to compromise....

Long Live Gospel Music... Hail the real Jesus...

P.S: If you have a problem with this article, let me say that these are MY views.. And I'm entitled to then...
If you think I'm talking too much and talking shit, this is MY blog.. You've come here.. I haven't invited you over...

Regional Plan... Student Participation

2007-01-20T20:10:00.000+05:30

I've lived here all my life. So this is a place I call home. This is a place we all call home. So when you mess around with our home, you have us to deal with. If the government comes up with outrageous plans that threaten to destroy our very identity, and they still think we're going to keep quiet, that just goes on to prove their stupidity, which we all know about. The plans the government come up with should be for the upliftment of the people, not for the builders who pay them the crores. The first step in preserving Goa's identity would logically be to chuck all former and present builders and real estate developers out of the government.

I don't think in my lifetime has Goa ever had such a poor crop of MLA's. Their actions and decisions make it all but obvious that they are only out to strike deals and take off with the loot, so much so that it isn't that great a loss to them if they later have to resign... First of all they came up with possibly the worst Regional Plan in the history of Goa... Then they refuse to scrap the plan even as the people of Goa, led by the Goa Bachao Abhiyan united like never before to protest against their grotesque desires. It was only when the Catholic Church and the Bahujan Samaj openly backed the Goa Bachao Abhiyan that the realization came upon the Congress that unless they scrapped the plan, they would lose their minority vote bank which they depend so heavily on. So even when the government decided to de-notify it, the honorable CM used the word non-retrospective, which he assumed would be beyond the realm of understanding of the Goan people. That meant the permissions already granted would stay.

So I have one question for the government. Did you de-notify the plan just to fool the people..?? Whom are you'll trying to fool..? The people are not dumb. This has gotten to such a stage where-in the people, especially the youth no longer feel they can trust the government. It's high time that the MLA's realize that their greed of money is slowly but steadily leading to the downfall of Goa. Ministers, MLA's, TCP dept, hear this. Only when the last fish dies and the last tree is cut, will you realize that money cannot be eaten. Then you'll look at the crores you made and wonder where things went wrong. The man who changed the world, Jesus Christ wasn't lying when He said that it is virtually impossible for the rich and the wicked to enter Paradise. Your greed is destroying the paradise we've all known. If you think you're setting up your life and that of your 40 future generations with stolen money, you can't be more wrong. They'll turn up as bad, if not worse, than you are. We already see it happening...

On the positive note, the Youth have opened their eyes, but not yet woken up. We the youth, who were previously living in a make-believe world of screwed up delusions, now realize that the government no longer holds to any values. Sacrilege and heresy have been left behind. When the youth wake up, it's time for the government to take notice. If you ignore us, we ignore you.

My sincere appeal. For the forthcoming elections, PLEASE let integrity and honesty be your criteria for selecting your candidate. Not bikes, cars, washing machines, etc. These are just things bought with stolen money, and if you accept these, in exchange for your vote, you're playing a major role in destroying Goa. Please fight your ignorance, and you'll win the battle... As Dr.Oscar put it, we have already won the war against our own fear. Now we're united. And we're unstoppable...

The Attitude of the USA...

2007-01-02T14:34:00.000+05:30

The begin of Saddam's downfall began when he invaded Kuwait... The USA had fully backed him when he did that.. But then in a behaviour so typical of the US, Saddam was back-stabbed by them and they used their power to neutralise him...

Facts about Iraq:
Before the British invaded Asia, Kuwait was a part of Iraq... Iraq is known as the centre of civilization... So Iraq decided to reclaim Kuwait... Obviously that was a stupid move... Anyways Hold on...

Same way, when China invaded Tibet, everyone was quiet... Would the US dare do anything to China..?? No they wouldn't... reason being, China is not sitting on large reserves of OIL... So the US wouldn't gain anything by attacking them...

What would you expect from a country that defied the UN when they attacked Iraq, a country that has an idiot as a President, a country that is ONLY concerned about its own interests... A president who lies to the very people who elected him to power...

Rotten eggs to the Star Spangled Banner...

Death or Life..??

2007-01-02T14:21:00.000+05:30

Yeah so the USA finally get rid of Saddam... The details about which I've blogged previously...
I believe even the worst criminal deserves a fair trial... And yea... I don't believe in death sentences... I would way prefer a criminal to be handed a life term with rigorous imprisonment...
As my friend Tahira put it, A death sentence is like an escape from punishment... her views, echoed by me, suggest that a death sentence is merely a preponement of death... In the sense a person is going to die anyways... death cannot be avoided... And as she says, if hell is real, which i believe to be true, the criminal is going to spend eternity there anyways... And its eternity... The people the dictator opressed will have their moment of joy when they see him dead... but then what..??? The crimes he committed on earth should be paid here itself... Then eternity will come anyways... So I'm heavily in the belief that a life imprisonment would be much better fro a criminal than a death sentence... Thanks Tahu for your opinions...

Saddam - The other side...

2006-12-31T19:09:00.001+05:30

Its quite often that a person's lifetimes achievements are nullified by a few words by someone powerful, whom society believes to be true, and more importantly, an authority... Yesterday, 30th Dec 2006, was the day when former Iraq President, Saddam Hussein, was executed, an unfair execution almost fully masterminded by the USA... Of course, in the course of life, we'll here it again, don't know how many times, about who Saddam was... A Dictator, A Tyrant, Someone who ruled Iraq with an Iron fist for over 25 years, someone so cruel that he killed members of his own family, and of course, the alleged crime for which he was executed, the gas-poisoning of 150 shiites when they contemplated rebellion against him... About the first part of the statement, there is no doubt... He was a dictator, and along with Hitler, Mussolini, Fidel Castro and a few others, formed the cream of the dictatorship which characterized the early to middle parts of the 20th century... Saddam can be held wholely responsible for creating a modern and secular Iraq, which, before his time, was too immersed in Religious issues... Even so, Iraq, under Saddam of course was the first Middle-east nation NOT to allow religion interfere with it's foreign policy... He was so much for a secular nation that most of the clerics and religious fanatics, if i might call them that, scampered away to more Islam-Favoring Iran... Saddam always supported India on the Kashmir issue, thus virtually nullifying Pakistan's trump card that it was an Islamic state... According to an article i read on the TOI, the Start of Saddam's downfall began with a huge tactical error he committed by trusting the USA in issues concerning the middle-east... The Iraqi invasion of Kuwait was done only after the USA's ambassador to Iraq gave the clear go-ahead signal... Then the American forces joined in to neutralise Saddam... The following UN sanctions on Iraq thereafter meant Saddam's days as a dictator, were surely numbered...Then came rumours of the Iraqi's hiding huge amounts of WMDs, an unfounded suspicion that made the USA, led by the Scoundrel George Bush, invade Iraq, for NO CONCRETE REASON... This led Saddam to go into hiding Bush, the greedy power-hungry Monster that he is, came in and stripped Iraq of it's very identity... And the former president, about whom this entry is, was finally captured from a hole in Tikrit, by the American forces... And to make matters worse, Saddam was tried before a court, officially recognised only by the USA, and a puppeted Iraq govt, backed by George Bush... Of course, as we should know by now, there were no WMDs found in Iraq.. The only thing the Americans accomplished in this mission was the cold-blooded murder of thousands of Iraqi nationals in their own country... Yet, USA will not admit that they were wrong in the first place, having suspected Saddam of storing WMDs... (which incidentally stands for Weapons of Mass Destruction...)... Of all the other gory and morbid tales we've grown up hearing, in Saddam's dictatorial regime, how many are true, and how many are rumours, just like the WMD fiasco, we don't and will probably never know... But for a former president, who was executed by virtual invaders, in the year 2006, I think we all ought to know the truth... RIP Saddam... George Bush... YOU SUCK... Ur awaiting judgement for all the innocent lives you claimed in Iraq...