One of the many things I haven't mastered in my 20 years and 4 months of existence on this planet is the art of addressing people. For instance, I still call any older man or woman I've never met Uncle or Aunty respectively. I don't know why! Fact is I hate that form of greeting as much as you do. Even now, if I walked into an interview room, I would most probably be clueless as to how I should address the interview panel. When I was younger, I once mistakenly referred to a boy and a girl as a chedo and a chedie.
More annoying than that is the 'formal' addressing system. For instance, Your Majesty, your Grace, etc. Why does each respectable profession have its' own formal address system? It's quite absurd. For instance, a Bishop is called your Grace, or your excellency. Excellency is a title shared by a Governor in a Federation. Hence, when a Bishop dies, Amazing Grace is almost a certain last song.
A Cardinal is called your eminence, or your highness. An interesting note about addressing a Cardinal would be, say for instance, if I became a Carnidal, it would be incorrect to say, Cardinal Nigel Britto. The appropriate form would be Nigel Cardinal Britto, the word Cardinal replacing my middle name, Fernando. Another way of adressing a Cardinal is "Your Lordship". Interestingly, Judicial officers also enjoy the same title. In a courtroom, a Judge would expect to be addressed like that. A Patriarch is addressed as "Your beatitude". Now this is really stupid. I always thought Beatitudes were those statements preachers fire from the pulpits.. "Blessed are those who ____ for the Kingdom of God is theirs. " Right?
Finally we come to the Pope. The Pope is one guy who never fails to amuse me. Pope John Paul II was cool, but the present guy has a glint in his eye I don't like. His smile too seems forced. It doesn't help that he's a German, a race against whom I have a certain prejudice, and not without reason, knowing their cruelty and hedonistic nature (I'm not only referring to Adolf Hitler). The Pope is normally referred to as "His Holiness". Well. No comments on that. The Pope's title is also shared by the Dalai Lama.
An inference after examining these cases would be that the titles these people expect are not always appropriate. For instance, if a priest is called Father, a Bishop, Grace, a Cardinal, eminence/lordship/highness, and the Pope, Holiness, where does that leave God? The truth is that all these people in the Church Hierachy have assumed all the qualities of God and left him title-less. This is a Conspiracy! What do we call God..? Mostly, Father, right? Is it justified of us to call the Boss Father and all the people who claim to be His subordinates all those fancy titles? I think NOT!!!
To make things easier, I suggest some changes. I would call people according to what their title is, not what they want to be called.
Here goes. Any suggestions, please leave your comments.
First the Church:-
God - Your Holiness the Most Gracious and Eminent Heavenly Father.
Priest - Father would be ok, or Msgr would also be appropriate.
Bishop - Your Bishopness, or your diagonality (Taking hint from the chess board). Since he lives in the "Bishop's Palace", your Majesty would be ok but undeserved.
Cardinal - Your Cardinality, Your moderate holiness.
Pope - Your Popeness/ Your Papacity / Your Papalness. And these should be general. As in, if the Pope is really fat, it should be referred to as a Papal Paunch. If he likes pets, his dog would be a papal dog, and if he likes Dhirios, he would have his army of Papal Bulls. (Pun intended). Vatican is already called a Papal state, so my suggestion is not as dumb as they normally are...
Now the Government:-
President - Your Presidency... If Pratiba becomes President, your Rashtra patni-ship.
Prime Minister - Hmmmm
Minister - Your dishonesty
Goan Minister - Your disgraceful dishonesty
Goan Congress Minister - Your utterly disgusting disgracegul dishonesty
Governor - Your governance/ Your bekarness (As u know, the Governor doesnt have much to do in our system... )
Anymore...? Please comment.
More annoying than that is the 'formal' addressing system. For instance, Your Majesty, your Grace, etc. Why does each respectable profession have its' own formal address system? It's quite absurd. For instance, a Bishop is called your Grace, or your excellency. Excellency is a title shared by a Governor in a Federation. Hence, when a Bishop dies, Amazing Grace is almost a certain last song.
A Cardinal is called your eminence, or your highness. An interesting note about addressing a Cardinal would be, say for instance, if I became a Carnidal, it would be incorrect to say, Cardinal Nigel Britto. The appropriate form would be Nigel Cardinal Britto, the word Cardinal replacing my middle name, Fernando. Another way of adressing a Cardinal is "Your Lordship". Interestingly, Judicial officers also enjoy the same title. In a courtroom, a Judge would expect to be addressed like that. A Patriarch is addressed as "Your beatitude". Now this is really stupid. I always thought Beatitudes were those statements preachers fire from the pulpits.. "Blessed are those who ____ for the Kingdom of God is theirs. " Right?
Finally we come to the Pope. The Pope is one guy who never fails to amuse me. Pope John Paul II was cool, but the present guy has a glint in his eye I don't like. His smile too seems forced. It doesn't help that he's a German, a race against whom I have a certain prejudice, and not without reason, knowing their cruelty and hedonistic nature (I'm not only referring to Adolf Hitler). The Pope is normally referred to as "His Holiness". Well. No comments on that. The Pope's title is also shared by the Dalai Lama.
An inference after examining these cases would be that the titles these people expect are not always appropriate. For instance, if a priest is called Father, a Bishop, Grace, a Cardinal, eminence/lordship/highness, and the Pope, Holiness, where does that leave God? The truth is that all these people in the Church Hierachy have assumed all the qualities of God and left him title-less. This is a Conspiracy! What do we call God..? Mostly, Father, right? Is it justified of us to call the Boss Father and all the people who claim to be His subordinates all those fancy titles? I think NOT!!!
To make things easier, I suggest some changes. I would call people according to what their title is, not what they want to be called.
Here goes. Any suggestions, please leave your comments.
First the Church:-
God - Your Holiness the Most Gracious and Eminent Heavenly Father.
Priest - Father would be ok, or Msgr would also be appropriate.
Bishop - Your Bishopness, or your diagonality (Taking hint from the chess board). Since he lives in the "Bishop's Palace", your Majesty would be ok but undeserved.
Cardinal - Your Cardinality, Your moderate holiness.
Pope - Your Popeness/ Your Papacity / Your Papalness. And these should be general. As in, if the Pope is really fat, it should be referred to as a Papal Paunch. If he likes pets, his dog would be a papal dog, and if he likes Dhirios, he would have his army of Papal Bulls. (Pun intended). Vatican is already called a Papal state, so my suggestion is not as dumb as they normally are...
Now the Government:-
President - Your Presidency... If Pratiba becomes President, your Rashtra patni-ship.
Prime Minister - Hmmmm
Minister - Your dishonesty
Goan Minister - Your disgraceful dishonesty
Goan Congress Minister - Your utterly disgusting disgracegul dishonesty
Governor - Your governance/ Your bekarness (As u know, the Governor doesnt have much to do in our system... )
Anymore...? Please comment.
4 comments:
I like the Goan Congress...
i know this pope has a glint in his eye that scares me for some reason.. like he has some wikced master plan.. and i still make the chedi mistake
loving the suggestions tooo funny specially the goa govt ones :D
Post a Comment